Shannon Stacey
Blogging while aggravated

It probably ranks right up there with posting to message boards and lists while aggravated, but I’ve already walked away from my computer and counted to ten so many times my children are getting worried. It’s not helping.

If you think I write morally-offensive books–Yee-freakin-haw. Then. Don’t. Read. Them.

(Okay, since none are actually published, you can’t read them anyway. Work with me here.)

I could go into what a boring, conservative person I am in real life, and point out that the couple in that book having hot monkey sex on the bar are fictional, but I won’t. If you can’t separate the author from her work, have the shrink adjust your meds.

Here it is–if you can put words on the page, sell them in today’s market, and please YOUR readers, I applaude you. Depending on your attitude toward me, I may not respect you, but I applaude you.

Worry about pleasing your readers, and I’ll worry about pleasing mine. You won’t find me on your blog/message board/list insulting you or your books or your fans. And that’s because if I don’t like something, I don’t read it. I certainly don’t seek out those who do in order to let them know how morally-offensive I find them.

The bottom line–“us people” who write “those books” are here to stay.

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Amusing myself with the RWR

The subject of the Up Close & Personal: Editor Profile in Feb’s RWR is Raelene Gorlinsky of Ellora’s Cave. (It just landed in my mailbox a few minutes ago.) In the intro paragraphs, Ms. Gorlinsky says:

“I’m waiting for someone to write my ultimate romance reading fantasy–a humorous erotic futuristic featuring a vampire/werewolf/psychic-human menage a trois.”

I’ll bet at least a few dozen aspiring writers are hunched over their plotting boards/sketchpads/Excel spreadsheets/snowflake charts right now, trying to fulfill this Managing Editor’s fantasy. At least 3 or 4 will have landed on her desk by next weekend.

“What do you get when a vampire–”

“I’ve already heard it.”

“How do you know? I didn’t even finish it!”

“I’m psychic, dumbass. And stop trying to get Type A out of the food replicator. It’s not working.”

“Dammit, Wulf, your claws punctured the condom again!”

“I knew that was going to happen.”

Another interesting tidbit from the same article, especially if your agent’s racking up the EC rejections for you:

“In fact, I’ve noticed that agented submissions usually do not follow our submission guidelines and are more likely to be rejected.”

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Plodding through plotting

So, there are my two methods. (The pictures, of course.)

I’m trying very hard to use the plotting board. My version is a scaled-down version due to space limitations, using sticky flags instead of sticky notes. And I just keep moving those puppies around…and around and around and around.

The sketchbook method came from a friend of mine. She said she used a sketchbook, so I thought at this point I’ll try anything. There’s a good chance hers is very neat and flow-charty, but this is what’s been working for me lately.

My new plan is to use the sketchpad for big, brainstorming stuff, and then, from that, list scenes I need to illustrate the stuff on the sketchpad onto sticky flags, then try to organize them on the board.

I think there might be a Mike’s Hard Lemonade in the back of the fridge left there by company two years ago or so. If I drink it with a straw, it might be enough to make me not care that I have two green flags, one pink flag, and one yellow flag in the first chapter. That means something.

I’m almost sure of it

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When loving a dead man is not enough…

I have a workshop tape from the RWA conference in NYC (’03)called “Inside the Editor’s Mind” with Leslie Wainger. The purpose of the workshop was cold-reading synopses and letting the writer know what kind of things run through an editor’s mind while reading them. After beginning the synopsis for a ghost romance, Ms. Wainger offers the following:

“…I still need an emotional conflict. It can’t just be he’s dead and she’s not…”

Is that not a great, and very telling, quote?

The new ms, which for a bizarre reason has the working title of LIDS, has a sort-of vampire hero and very-much-not vampire heroine. This in itself is a conflict, of course. Although, it might be less of a conflict than usual because I’ve blended a lot of different mythologies to come up with a different kind of vampire. (*cue Vic Mackey*) This could be good (Ooooh, he’s unique!) or bad (That’s not how vampires do it! –thud–).

It’s a romance, so you know going in that the vampire guy and the non-vampire girl are going to live happily ever after. Do paranormal lovers even consider her lack of sharp canines a conflict? Not so much, probably.

At this point I know what’s pushing my hero and heroine together, but I have yet to unearth what’s pulling them apart.

Besides the fact that he’s sort-of dead and she’s sort-of not.

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Starring Jane Doe…

I’m several pages into my new manuscript–*wiggle*. I have a basic outline of the first two chapters, and several of the later, bigger scenes sketched out, and I just now realized my heroine doesn’t have a name.

That’s not good.

I hate naming characters. While my guys let me know right away who they are, I usually don’t settle on the heroine’s name until at least 3/4 of the way through. So I slap ‘Sarah’ in there until they tell me their names. (Why Sarah? Who knows.)

The hero of Roadtrip was probably the first guy who had trouble settling on a name. Originally it was Ian, and it stayed Ian until I was almost done. Then he said, “Hey, moron, try Ethan.”

So I did the Find & Replace thing. Of course I did it at midnight, so I forgot to check the ‘match case’ and ‘whole words only’ buttons. Words like librarEthan abounded.

I also have a very small pool of names. I use them over and over and over again. I was working on my Brava novella when I realized that three of the names were already used in my SIM, including the hero’s. One of them weaseled its way into Roadtrip, but I caught it. And a few of the names in that SIM were used in a Silhouette Romance that was rejected a couple of years back. (*whew* I dodged that bullet–I realized even before the rejection came that if they bought it I’d be writing books with NO SEX!)

Time to hit the baby-naming sites.

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