Shannon Stacey

Living with Angry Jerkface sports fans

Tonight’s Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals and I’ll be watching it. At home. With my husband. I think there are two kinds of sports fans, and my husband and I are not the same kind.

I’m an optimistic sports fan. I believe my team will win, right up until the final whistle blows or horn sounds. And I believe it hard. The Bruins could be down 5-1 in the last minute of the third period and I still believe they’ll win. Maybe the other team’s goalie will twist his ankle and have to leave the game and his back-up will trip on the ice coming in and get a concussion and the back-up back-up guy will suck and then bam bam bam bam, it’s all tied up and anybody’s game.

Hell, in the 1990 season, I believed my Patriots would win the Super Bowl. I believed it with all my heart right up until they said it was mathematically impossible for them to even make the play-offs. (This came embarrassingly early in the season since we only won one game that year and it was early in the season.) But I believed. (And that only team we beat the year we were officially, statistically the worst team in the NFL? The Colts. HA!)

I believe in miracles, Al.

My husband is what I call Angry Jerkface sports fan. (I bet you thought I was going to say pessimistic). It can be only half-way through the first period and the other team can score one goal and I have to listen to “The Bruins are playing like shit. They don’t deserve to win. This game’s as good as over.”

I hate watching games of any sport with Angry Jerkface sports fans. And even worse? When an Angry Jerkface sports fan has given up so totally he wants to change the channel. And miss the greatest comeback in the history of the sport? NO. Because I just know that’s what will happen if we change it. (Yes, I’m often disappointed…but not always.)

2004. Red Sox dropped the first three games of the ALCS to the Yankees. I still believed. Between Game 3 and Game 4, I was at our local house of pizza and told them I still believed the Red Sox would win. There were snorts of derision and pitying looks. But they won four games in a row. And took Game 7 at Yankee Stadium. And yes, I said I TOLD YOU SO to every Angry Jerkface sports fan I saw because I told them so.

Unfortunately, while he swings back and forth in a most annoying manner, the Short Kid leans toward Angry Jerkface sports fan. (And the Tall Kid thought wide receivers were called catching backs, so we won’t even talk about him. He’s clueless non-sports fan.) I’m trying to teach my youngest to believe in sports miracles, but I have a feeling being Angry Jerkface sports fan is a genetic flaw he inherited from his father.

So, I’m gearing up to watch my Bruins win the Stanley Cup. Because I believe they will and I’ll keep believing until the final horn, even if Angry Jerkface gives up.

12 comments to “Living with Angry Jerkface sports fans”

  1. Monikarw
      · June 12th, 2013 at 2:16 pm · Link

    You’re about to be disappointed, shannon. I love you. But, my Hawks will win. Because everyone thinks the Bruins will win it & I’m as optimistic as you are! :) lol
    But, it’ll be a fun series. An Original Six Matchup is always an awesome thing but in the Final? EPIC.
    Have fun watching! :P

  2. Shannon
      · June 12th, 2013 at 2:24 pm · Link

    Did I hear somewhere that this is the first Original 6 final since the 70s? I guess that would make sense since four of them are in the same conference.

    I guess the best team will win! (Which would be, of course, the Bruins.)


  3. library addict
      · June 12th, 2013 at 4:29 pm · Link

    Not a hockey fan, so I will root for your Bruins.

    I tend to watch a lot of golf (I always root for Phil Mickelson) and tennis (I’m a diehard Roger Federer fan). And I love everything Olympics.

    I am more a casual football fan. For college teams I always root for Notre Dame (both of my parents are from South Bend). Being an Air Force brat we moved a lot when I was a kid so I didn’t have a particular pro-team allegiance. When they started a football pool at work, I picked Buffalo because we’d lived in upstate NY for a time when I was a kid and their quarterback was named Jim Kelly. They went to the Superbowl that year and for the next three in a row (sadly lost every time), but haven’t done well since. So they’re still my sentimental choice. Otherwise I root for the Vikings (my little brother lives in MN and tells me I have to) and whichever team is playing the Cowboys.

    What “ruins” all of these things for me is the inane (and they are always idiotic :P ) commentators. Tennis and ice skating have THE worst commentators. The British sounding dude who does golf commentary (his name escapes me at the moment) isn’t bad, but all the others drone on-and-on just to hear themselves speak.

    But I can see why watching with an angry jerkface fan would take some of the fun out of it. I think I’m a mixture of angry jerkface and optimistic with a touch of cluelessness thrown in.

  4. Monikarw
      · June 12th, 2013 at 5:40 pm · Link

    Yup. Last time was in 79, I believe. Should be FUN! (to watch my Hawks win, of course!) ;D

  5. Tracy S
      · June 13th, 2013 at 12:27 am · Link

    I have to be an optimistic sports fan-I live in WI. :) The Packers have been awesome a lot of years, but they sucked through most of my childhood and the Brewers have only been to the World Series once and struggle on a regular basis (see THIS YEAR).

    My hubby is a laid back sports fan so we have fun watching sports here. Unfotunately, he grew up in MN, so we do not root for the same teams. The rivalry between the Vikings and Packers makes those game days fun! ;)

  6. Jean
      · June 13th, 2013 at 1:12 pm · Link

    Husband is clueless non-fan. Sigh. I think it’s worse when he pretends to try. The inane questions he comes up with. SMH.

  7. azteclady
      · June 13th, 2013 at 8:58 pm · Link

    I’ll be sitting on that corner with all the other clueless non-fans–while wishing you a GREAT game!

  8. azteclady
      · June 16th, 2013 at 12:33 am · Link

    Congrats on the Stanley Cup tie! (I may not know sports but even I can understand this bit)

  9. Shannon
      · June 21st, 2013 at 9:10 am · Link

    The last game almost killed me. We’ll be watching tomorrow night’s game in a hotel room. I feel like I should put a note apologizing for the yelling on the door before it even starts.

  10. Bev
      · June 22nd, 2013 at 5:18 pm · Link

    Love your books, but I love the Blackhawks more! Game 5 tonight! Hockey, the greatest sport in the world!

  11. Brenda
      · June 26th, 2013 at 12:49 pm · Link

    I follow college football and pro baseball. Golf makes me sleep, hockey scares the crap out of me. I know that all sports have violence in them some more than other but, name one hockey game that someone didn’t throw down on someone else……yeah, that’s what I thought. I watched on game in Huntsville, Ala. and swore them off after that. I was a shaking nervous wreck…I’m so non-confrontational. So I’m going to leave the hockey up to those who truly love it and I’m going to say I’m sorry the Bruins didn’t win this year, because I know you’re disappointed Shannon.

  12. Brenda
      · June 26th, 2013 at 12:56 pm · Link

    I forgot to mention, I’m the calm one who believes until the very last whistle or bell or inning or whatever ends whatever game that my team is going to win. Unfortunately, the short one is loud and uses language I would have washed HER mouth out when she was younger, still thinking about it. The tall one silently fumes and stews. The middle one throws popcorn or chips or whatever he’s eating at the TV. I shake my head until the game is over then hand him the vacuum cleaner and the electronic screen cleaner. Games are fun, the playoff nerve wrecking when my teams are playing and watching the children interact with the games while still sitting on the couch, priceless.

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