Shannon Stacey
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The birth and death of a marital grudge

Sometime in the spring of 1995, a marital grudge was born. We were coming up on our second anniversary and I was pregnant with our first child. Being young and stupid, most of what I knew about expectant fathers, I’d learned from television. How many times had I seen TV husbands go out at 2am to get their pregnant wives ice cream or pickles or whatever crazy thing they craved in the wee hours?

So, in that spring of 1995, I had a mad craving for Kentucky Fried Chicken and my non-TV husband didn’t get me Kentucky Fried Chicken. Even though I could see the sign as we drove right by. At lunchtime! He would later try to defend himself with “I thought you were kidding”.

And, on that spring day in 1995, I declared, “Fine! I will NEVER have Kentucky Fried Chicken EVER AGAIN!” (Yes, I’m aware that punished me more than anybody else. I’m not known for being rational.)

Seventeen years passed with no Kentucky Fried Chicken. And not a KFC commercial was seen or a KFC sign driven by without my husband being reminded he was a cold, heartless bastard to the Original Recipe-craving woman who gave birth to his first son.

Yesterday, I got over it. My cold, heartless bastard of a husband was snowmobiling and we were on our own for supper. Tired of the same old choices, the Short Kid hesitantly and with great trepidation whispered, “KFC?”. (Apparently he’d sampled their food at his Grammy’s one day.) When I started to break out the “ask your father why we can’t have KFC” and found instead that I no longer gave a crap, off we went to the land of sporks and wet wipes for what was the teen’s first time ever and my first time in over seventeen years. (It hasn’t changed much.)

There was some discussion of whether or not to tell Dad. If he didn’t find out we’d gone to Kentucky Fried Chicken, the grudge could live on. But there was some appeal in taunting him with the fact his family had gone to KFC for the first time without him. After deciding he wouldn’t care either way, the boys settled on bringing home three sporks so they could taunt him with his sporklessness. And then, high on the forbidden acts of eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken and smuggling sporks home in my purse, we fled the scene of the crime.

13 comments to “The birth and death of a marital grudge”

  1. Julie
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 1:29 pm · Link

    I smell a plot bunny! Or maybe even a plot chicken!

    (They stole all the KFC’s immediately around us. I’ve switched to Popeye’s for my chicken fix, which no one else in my house likes.)

  2. Shannon
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 1:37 pm · Link

    I’ve never seen a Popeye’s. After it was mentioned on Twitter last night, I looked it up and the nearest one is 52 miles away. (But not too far from my sister and Mom so maybe I’ll hit it someday during a visit.)

  3. Cynthia D'Alba (aka ArkansasCyndi)
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 1:41 pm · Link

    Very funny! Let’s just say, I’ve been there and done that.

  4. Kim Deleon
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 2:45 pm · Link

    This was very cute……….calculated…..and cute. He didn’t care, did he?? LOL

  5. Shannon
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 3:09 pm · Link

    He won’t be home for a few more hours, but I don’t think he’ll care quite as much as we did, no matter how much we taunt him with our sporks.

  6. Carin
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 3:39 pm · Link

    I have a similar story about Taco John’s. I was also pregnant with my first baby, but my husband did actually stop and get me Taco Johns. Then he had to listent to me whine almost 10 minutes on the way home because he hadn’t realized that I wanted to go in and EAT IT NOW. When he suggested I eat it in the car I started crying. I still can’t explain it. And we haven’t been back. Not because of a grudge, but a shared horrifying memory. (And the fact that, unless you’re crazy pregnancy craving it, Taco John’s just isn’t really that good.)

  7. Patti
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 3:51 pm · Link

    That is hilarious! My dad vowed never to play Monopoly again after my mother helped his younger sister (Cathy,who was a kid at the time) not make a bad play thereby disallowing him to buy her hotel! He kept his promise much to the frustration of his Monopoly playing children and all his grandkids!!! I’m happy to see that the family has evolved!

  8. Shannon
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 3:58 pm · Link

    Carin, I’ve never heard of Taco John’s, but I totally get that story. Our poor, clueless husbands. Pregnant women are tough! :)

    Patti, that is awesome! I guess we know which side of the family I get it from, then! :lol:

  9. Bev Stephans
      · March 3rd, 2012 at 4:46 pm · Link

    What a shame that you live so far from a Popeyes. Their chicken is really good. I like the extra spicy. I also like KFC. It just depends on my mood.

    The only cravings I ever had was with my first pregnancy. I craved Banana Split ice cream from a local store and grapefruit, but not together.

  10. MarcieR
      · March 4th, 2012 at 1:22 pm · Link

    Oh my gosh, this is funny! I love KFC’s mashed potatoes and gravy.

    I have both Popeyes and KFC – I prefer KFC. Mashed potatoes remember?

  11. azteclady
      · March 5th, 2012 at 10:36 am · Link

    You have the best stories!

  12. Shannon
      · March 5th, 2012 at 10:51 am · Link

    To follow up, my husband didn’t find any of this nearly as interesting as the boys and I did, but, because he’s a good dad, he’s managed to fake being dismayed by his lack of a spork. :lol:

  13. Jewell
      · March 16th, 2012 at 10:33 am · Link

    What ever happened to Arthur Treachers? Fish and chips that even though I don’t live in the UK, kinda resembled what I thought it would taste like there.

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