Shannon Stacey

Vacuums, Peeps & Sex on Wheels

This morning I went to the car wash and used the big industrial vacuum. Some of you may know I’m rather frightened by them*, but I didn’t really have a choice. I’m a car slob. Receipts from the drive-thru. Dunkin Donuts straw wrappers. Empty water bottles. Old grocery lists. You name it, it’s on the floor of my car. I had to clean it out and then I tried using my little hand-held vacuum.

It was the petrified pink Peeps that forced me to risk my life by using the car wash vacuum. Yes, I know they only sell Peeps during the Easter season. Yes, I know it’s September. That sparkly sugar stuff they’re coated in? A little like glitter once it’s ground into the carpet.

I was rewarded for my bravery in the face of being serial killer bait, however, by having a NH State Trooper go roaring past. As you may know, I happen to think the Dodge Charger in the NH State Police livery is sex on wheels, so not a bad way to start my day.

How does your vehicle fare? Do you keep it tidy or are you a car slob, too? (Somebody else has to be a car slob. Can’t just be me.)

* One of my favorite posts here on the blog.

13 comments to “Vacuums, Peeps & Sex on Wheels”

  1. Ellen Blakley
      · September 21st, 2011 at 11:03 am · Link

    I keep my car tidy. I work in the service dept. of a Ford dealer and trust me I have seen some pretty nasty vehicles come through here.

  2. Ursula A
      · September 21st, 2011 at 11:07 am · Link

    I was a car slob! I had a piece of crap ’92 Buick aka “the Beast” It was all rusted, nothing worked right and my hubs was under the hood and/or chassis at least once a week. It had so much crap in the back floor boards (mostly stuff my 10 yo left in it) that the junk pile was level with the seat…yeah. That bad. The front passenger side wasn’t much better. And there were wrappers and receipts stashed in every cubby possible. Then the Beast broke. Literally, the frame portion holding the rear tires on disintegrated.

    And now I have a brand spanking new “used” ’96 Ford Contour. The interior is pristine! So I am keeping it that way. I am one week in and not a single wrapper has found its way into the car…yet…I guess time will tell cause I am at heart a car slob…sigh. My poor new used car…it has no idea what it is in for.

  3. Lee Laughlin
      · September 21st, 2011 at 11:09 am · Link

    I live in a dirt road in New Hampshire and drive a black car with a black interior. I have two kids aged 11 & 7. Yeah, my car looks like some through a bag of crushed potato chips on the floor and then sprinkled it with the recycling bin.

    Gee, thanks for putting the serial killer thoughts in my head!

  4. Karen Koopman
      · September 21st, 2011 at 11:10 am · Link

    One of my friend’s Moms used to call her car her “large purse” anything and everything she needed was in there. She was an “organized mess”. My car is my transportation and office, so messy at times but cleaned out regularly when I will still, on occasion, find a petrified french fry.

  5. Jean
      · September 21st, 2011 at 11:23 am · Link

    I think I’d rather deal with bears than the neighborhood boogeyman, too. As for the vehicular sludge, I sling a plastic shopping bag over the hump-mounted gear shifter and shove trash into it. Bottles, when emptied, tend to get tossed into the back seat. They get cleaned out, usually when we get home, so they don’t usually build up. I don’t vacuum nearly as often as I should — probably every couple of years instead of every couple of weeks. I do dump the rocks and dirt from the rubber front floor mats onto the driveway every once in awhile. I have someone in my backseat (human, not the cats) about twice a year, so that’s not usually a problem.

    The unforeseen problem with not getting a bench back seat in the new Navigator is getting 4 cat carriers on the third seat — it only holds three and a half. The fourth cat now rides in the way back with Millie (had to get the Navigator L to have room behind the third seat for the dog, you know). I know humans prefer the bucket seats, but I rarely ride with humans in my truck. Cats, dog, and plywood? Yes. Humans? Very rarely.

    State Trooper performance vehicles are very cool.

      · September 21st, 2011 at 11:38 am · Link

    Car slob I love a clean car but usually am not the one to do it I really only get the urge in the fall and spring:) My husband breaks down and does it more than I do I think he likes to use the shot Vac he has!!! Anyway whatever the kids bring in the Van usually stays there until we haul it out by the bags, toys, stuffed animals, etc. not to mention they probably have a couple happy meals worth of fries on their seats! My husband just got it detailed in the inside so it is really nice right now man he loves that Van:)

  7. Corinne Bridges
      · September 21st, 2011 at 11:39 am · Link

    Funny you should blog about this today…..I JUST cleaned my car today….after much resistance & procrastination on my part!! I definitely am a car slob!! I think I still had sand & dirt from my shoes that got tracked in the car from LAST Winter!! My husband is always on my A** about it. What can I say….one of the traits from someone who is born under the Aquarius IS procrastination!! :)

  8. Lynda the Guppy
      · September 21st, 2011 at 3:32 pm · Link

    Total car slob. I’ve gotten better, since I drive my mom around quite a bit, but still. I wouldn’t suggest looking under the seats or in the trunk. LOL In fact, I have to clean it out for tomorrow afternoon, because I’ll have two people in my car.

    And I’m TOTALLY with you on the serial killer thing. I do stuff like that all the time. I finally installed a FEWS* alarm at my house, because I would get creeped out staying home alone, especially as I live in the hills. I have close neighbors, but still…there are no curtains on the back of the house, and WHO KNOWS WHO IS OUT THERE WATCHING ME IN THE DARK WAITING TO STAB ME TO DEATH!!!! I mean, it’s usually just the coyotes (the 4-legged variety), but you never know. One of these days it might be a serial killer.

    *FEWS = Feline Early Warning System. IOW, a cat.

  9. nightsmusic
      · September 21st, 2011 at 7:05 pm · Link

    This is my baby:

    It’s always clean. I do drive a pick up on days that aren’t nice which lately in Michigan is almost every day. That poor truck isn’t clean. Not filthy, but it needs vacuumed and such.

    I test drive cars and transport customer cars though and some of them I’ve gotten into made me want to shower when I got out. So I can’t let my cars get that bad.

  10. Mo
      · September 21st, 2011 at 8:31 pm · Link

    The outside of my car is always dirty since too live on a dirt road in NH. I keep the inside clean since I drive a convertable roadster and anything loose would get sucked out when the roof is down.

  11. Danielle West
      · September 21st, 2011 at 9:00 pm · Link

    My car is ALWAYS bursting with receipts and extra clothes and bags from everywhere… and the junk is never mine! I sometimes think of attaching garbage bags on the back of my fiance’s shirts to see if my car keeps cleaner. My family car was always bursting with tons of fast food stuff and empty cans. We got well acquainted with the huge car vacuums!

  12. Shannon
      · September 24th, 2011 at 9:50 am · Link

    My road’s paved, so the outside of my car stays pretty clean in the summer but, like all of New England’s cars, winter is brutal. Road salt on the outside, parking lot sand and salt on the inside.

    And, nightsmusic, if that was MY car, I’d keep it clean, too! Probably by refusing to let my family ride in it. :)

  13. nightsmusic
      · September 24th, 2011 at 11:36 am · Link


    The only one insured to drive it is me. I have two daughters, 24 and 22. There’s no way I’m going to let them behind the wheel and that’s all I ever hear so I just smile nicely and remind them they can’t drive it :o)

    I waited a long time for something like that again. I told my husband when I didn’t have to drive small children and old people around anymore, I wanted a two door sports car again (had lots in my youth) and that’s what I chose. It’s my refuge of sorts since I’m the only one ever in it. I’m alone and my brain seems to jump into high speed. The story ideas really fly. Sort of like the car ;o)

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