Now that my son is over fifteen and a half years old, we’re supposed to be teaching him how to drive. He has no interest in this endeavor, which baffles me because I was hounding my mother to let me drive before I could see over the steering wheel. But he says he has nowhere he needs to go and, if he does get his license, I’m going to make him go to the grocery store a gazillion times to get the things I forgot and pick up his annoying little brother at school, so he’s good, thanks.
Since I have plans that include him running to the store for me every time I forget something, the child will be learning to drive. What’s interesting, though, is that my husband was told that they’ve changed the hands-on-the-wheel positions. We were all taught (and tested on) hands at ten and two. Then, once that shiny license is in our possession, we go to left hand at nine or twelve and right hand on the arm rest, resting on the shifter knob. Or maybe right hand at six and left hand out the window.
But now, to keep our kids’ forearms free of the airbags, they’re teaching (and testing on) hands at four and eight. Four and eight? That’s just weird. (I know you just held your hands in the four and eight positions. It’s weird, right?)
So on the way home from dropping the Short Kid off at school, I tried driving with my hands at four and eight. It’s unnatural. Weird. And, as the dude in the red Ford discovered, I found it very awkward and difficult to make a sweeping left-hand turn.
So I’ve decided three things…
1) I really don’t need to tell this story to my husband. It only counts if the dude in the red Ford and I actually swapped paint.
2) One the Tall Kid has passed the test, we’ll teach him how to really hold a steering wheel.
3) My husband should probably be the one doing the teaching. I’m a little too prone to vehicular drama.
Although I do have a spotless record. Never so much as a parking ticket. There was that one time I backed into my husband’s truck in the driveway, though. I thought I’d never hear the end of it, until 10+ years later, he backed his truck into the house. And point goes to the Missus.