(If you could sing that title out loud to the tune of Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind”, we’ll be on the same page.) Woke up to the news Randy Moss is going to be a Minnesota Viking. Again. And while I’m a jersey-wearing, eyelash-fluttering Wes Welker fangirl, losing Moss makes me incredibly sad.

When it was first announced Moss was joining the Patriots, I recoiled in horror. He seemed to be the exact opposite of everything the New England Patriots stood for—teamwork. No drama. No glory hunting. This was a team that took pride in the fact that, when we went to New Orleans, no superstars sprang to mind when the defense was mentioned. It was a solid unit, referred to simply as the Patriots defense. There’s no “I” in team and Moss was definitely all about the “I”. What kind of madness was a glory-hound, whiny-ass diva going to bring to our team?

To my surprise, he won my admiration and respect almost immediately. He kept his mouth shut, worked flawlessly with the team and brought his A game every time. I guess we probably won’t know exactly what went wrong. Did the organization lose faith in him the second half of last season when he was working his ass off to bring a C game? Did he have a fit because Brady got an epic, record-breaking contract and he didn’t? Who knows.

Maybe it was better this way—quick, like ripping off a band-aid. He was showing obvious signs of discontent and, in leaving before he degenerated back into the whiny-ass diva we all knew and detested, I can be sad he’s gone and wish him every success (except when the Vikings are playing us, of course.)

I take solace in the fact that, unlike other Patriots I have loved and lost, he didn’t go to the :censored: Jets. (Oh, I’m looking at you, Curtis Martin, with Ty Law right there in my peripheral vision.)

Goodbye, Randy Moss. Good luck. And thank you.