I’ve been slowly chugging along on my non-DG action-adventure romance, also known as the most flat, boring book ever written. Insert big, dramatic sigh here.
I know it’s the first draft. First drafts are allowed to suck because otherwise it wouldn’t be a first draft. But, for me, a flat story with no discernable voice usually indicates my story is broken somewhere. And it is.
The premise is stupid.
Not implausible. Not unlikely or dependent on coincidences or cliched or any other writerly label. It’s just plain stupid.
So my theory is that, while my conscious brain has been chugging along, trying to use the first draft excuse, the muse wasn’t showing up because it was inevitable I’d realize my premise was stupid.
(Side note: mentioning a muse has lately been one of those things that opens a writer to ridicule and mockery. I can ony speak for myself, but I’m guessing this might be true for many authors: The muse isn’t some divine spirit that courses through us, making us vessels spilling blessed words onto the page. It’s simply an easy, four-letter shorthand word for the subconscious melting pot where much of the grunt work of writing is done.)
Now that I’ve (reluctantly) admitted one of the primary elements of my premise is stupid, I can fix it. I’m hoping it can be fixed without a lot of rewriting, but…
If it does, it does.
(I’d like you to reread that last sentence, but read it while doing an impression of Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago in Rocky IV, with his fake Russian accent, saying “If he dies, he dies”, because that’s how it came out in my head as I typed it.)
Now I just need to figure out how to fix it.