Shannon Stacey

Today's Mission: jeans and a t-shirt

I hate shopping. I’m not exaggerating when I say I would rather scrub both of my toilets and fish Legos out from under my fridge, along with accompanying dustbunnies, than shop for clothing, shoes, purses, gifts, or anything. The only exceptions are Borders and Staples. For books, notebooks and pens, I will shop.

A second notice came home regarding tomorrow night’s performance of the Second Grade Musical. (The original notice called it the Second Grade Opera, but I think a couple hundred parents cringing in horror shifted a few too many tectonic plates and they decided to go with the slightly more appealing “Musical”.)

Wardrobe requirements: Plain white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans.


Seriously. I already bought the plain green t-shirt required for the African drumming performance. Do I really have to buy the kid another “costume”?

1) How many second graders own a plain white t-shirt? I’m betting none of the boys do. We have one Walmart and one Kohls (which I’ve entered twice, leaving both times emptyhanded and vowing never to return. No notebooks? Pens? WTF?) I’m guessing there won’t be any white t-shirts left in town by 5:30 tomorrow evening.

2) The Short Kid doesn’t own any jeans. I’m serious. He wears elastic waist khakis and sweat pants. (Though this was the last size for elastic waist. I’ve already told him he can’t wear sweatpants for the rest of his life. He claims he can.) He’s not built for jeans, which is entirely his father’s fault. Mostly. The poor kid inherited my long-waistedness and his father’s not-long-leggedness. To fit him in the waist and crotch, I’d have to fold the legs up 19 times to keep him from tripping. To fit him in leg length, the crotch catches up to him long before the button hits his waist.

Unfortunately the only “denim” elastic waist pants (Garanimals, maybe?) ended at size 7. I might have considered them just for the one night, but it was that soft, cheap, dark blue, cheesy fake-denim even I know isn’t cool enough for the opera.

I’ll try to get a good picture for y’all tomorrow night. The Short Kid will be the squirming, slightly bow-legged one tripping over his pantlegs.

4 comments to “Today's Mission: jeans and a t-shirt”

  1. Charlene
      · April 22nd, 2009 at 3:10 pm · Link

    And given that you have a time limit to find said white tee, no store in town will have one, but no internet purveyor can ship in time. Do they do this to torture parents on purpose?

  2. Melani Blazer
      · April 22nd, 2009 at 4:11 pm · Link

    Charlene’s right… talk about timing. Two days before? What kind of nuts is that? Good luck and uh…I’ll be thinking of you while working and then off to my daughter’s band concert. It’s high school (which means the songs sound like songs) and thank GOD they had enough funding to buy uniforms, which we pay a miniscule ($10 /yr maybe?) rental fee for–which covers cleaning between concerts.

    Ugh @ your son’s jeans nightmare. Although I was totally laughing, cuz he’s my polar opposite. I’m short-waisted and long-legged. I feel your pain in my own special way.

    I love book and pen shopping. :hug: You should reward yourself after being forced to undergo such trauma!

  3. Annmarie
      · April 22nd, 2009 at 4:21 pm · Link

    I hate shopping for something I KNOW I can’t find. It makes me wildly insane. For just shopping for entertainment, however, I can shop. And shop. And shop.

    Can’t wait for pics!

  4. Shannon
      · April 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 pm · Link

    I found him a pair, but they won’t be comfortable. The legs are too long, and the combination of winter weight and (hopefully) imminent growth spurt made him have to suck in the gut to snap them.

    Time for that boy to run some laps.

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