“It Won’t Be Like This For Long” by Darius Rucker. Nice song, but it’s stupendously obvious to me it was written by a man. Why? Here’s the opening:

He didn’t have to wake up
He’d been up all night
Lying there in bed and listening
To his newborn baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says,
“It’s gonna be okay”

Now let’s tinker with it a bit, pretend a woman wrote it:

He didn’t have to wake up
He’d been up all night
Lying there in bed and listening
To his newborn baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a bitchslap and says…
“You’re complaining to me you couldn’t sleep, you dumb son of a bitch? I haven’t slept since my seventh month when your precious baby decided to shove her giant block head into my pelvic bone. My nipples are chapped and it’s going to take a brush hog to comb my hair and you think I give a flying :censor: you couldn’t sleep? Maybe instead of lying there listening you could have gotten off your lazy ass and changed one shitty diaper so I could sleep for ten :censor: minutes! Asshole!”

I mean, really. While the sentiment of the song makes me all sniffly, those first lines crack me up.