Shannon Stacey

To the couch I go

I did something this morning I’ve only ever done twice (for childbirth)—I called in sick.

It’s a little hard to call in sick when you’re a stay-at-home mom, but I told my husband this morning I was taking the day off—effective immediately after the Short Kid’s school drop-off. I got breakfasts and lunches made and kids delivered, but that’s all I’m doing today.

Columbus Day weekend I hurt my right shoulder in a minor, just-annoying way. Then it started to spread as I boxed books and office crap. At some point I stopped moving full boxes and started carrying armloads of books upstairs to boxes already assembled in their storage place (my bedroom, unfortunately). The pain’s been constant, but nothing I couldn’t work through.

Then, last night…

3:10 AM — Mini starts barking. She’s been doing this for about two weeks, and all she wants if for me to come down and sleep on the couch where she can see me. That’s the only thing that makes her stop, and I haven’t figured out how to break her of this hideous new habit yet. Because I was feeling affectionate (and cold), I put the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs and let Mini out of her crate so she could cuddle with me on the couch. (A bad idea for so many reasons.)

3:45 AM
— Gizmo jumps on the baby gate to launch herself into the living room. Because I hadn’t turned the light on, it wasn’t wedged properly and the cat and the gate came crashing down. Mini launches off couch, barking. Gizmo, utterly freaked out, takes off, knocking the water dish over in the process. Light on, dog calmed, water mopped, gate reinstalled correctly.

4:22 AM — Jinx wanders down to the living room and vomits. I go to the kitchen to get paper towels and come back to find Mini cleaning it up for me. Refrain, barely, from kicking her. Finish cleaning up, resettle dog, and go back to sleep.

Unknown time — Reach both arms up over me head to adjust pillow (in vain, since the arm of the couch doesn’t plump) and feel something snap between shoulder blades. Cry in horrible pain for about twenty minutes, then go back to sleep.

6:08 AM — Mini jumps off couch and throws up the cat vomit. And I get a cookie because I still didn’t kick her. Clean it up despite horrific, stomach-turning pain, lay back down.

6:20 AM — Cell alarm goes off. Hit snooze.

6:29 AM — Cell alarm goes off. Cry.

I’m unable to move my head or shoulders independently from my waist. Seriously, I look like I’m doing the robot. So I’m going to curl up on the couch and try to write a synopsis today. I seriously hate those, but it’s the only thing keeping me from getting this story (not DG3) turned in, so I need to get it done.

I’m also going to watch the back-to-back reruns of 90210 on the Soap channel without guilt. I might even have some Doritos…but they’re kept in the microwave, which is over the stove, and I can’t reach my arms over my head. I’ll need a stepstool.


7 comments to “To the couch I go”

  1. Charlene
      · October 23rd, 2008 at 10:12 am · Link

    Um. You might want to call a chiropractor and massage therapist to get yourself unkinked. Good luck with the synopsis.

  2. Jaci Burton
      · October 23rd, 2008 at 10:19 am · Link

    Ow Ow Ow

    Get a heating pad.

    And rest. Rest rest rest. :hug:

  3. Karen Templeton
      · October 23rd, 2008 at 10:30 am · Link

    Oh, I’ve so been there. On so many levels. :hug:

    Yes, stay put. Except for a couple of nice, hot showers. Sending waves of muscle-relaxing warmth your way. And some knockout drops for the beasts.

  4. Annmarie
      · October 23rd, 2008 at 11:47 am · Link

    I think you need to see a doctor. That sounds serious.

    I will worry if you don’t get that looked at by a doctor… :(

  5. Jill Sorenson
      · October 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm · Link

    Oh, man! I’ve thrown out my back many times, and messed up my neck more than once, too, so I am quite familiar with doing the robot. Hope you get well soon. Hugs.

  6. Kelly
      · October 23rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm · Link

    I’m sorry you are in such pain. Warm shower might help, definetly need a heating pad.

    Doritos would be good for you cause it’s the old work~reward theory…stretch possible work out some kinks and reward by eating a few chips…but do it before the kids come home…seeing mom crying in the fetal position might not be the healthiest site for them… :baby:

    Positive thoughts and warm gentle hugs heading your way.

  7. Melani Blazer
      · October 23rd, 2008 at 2:28 pm · Link

    Gentle hugs heading your way. Heating pad or even icy hot rub or patches will make you feel better.

    Hope the synopsis writing is keeping your mind off the pain (nothing like a new pain to distract you from an old one, eh?).

    What a night. Hope you schduled a nap in your day as well.

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