Shannon Stacey

The Holy Grail Hoodie

How hard can it be to find a black, zip-up hooded sweatshirt? I think I have a better chance of a hoarde of agents and editors descending upon my home, clamoring for my grocery list, than I do of finding a black hoodie.

Having exhausted my usual retail haunts (yeah, that would be Wal-Mart), I ventured reluctantly to one of my personal levels of hell—a hoity-toity women’s clothing store at the outlet mall.

Me:  Do you have any black, zip-up sweatshirts?

Clerk: I don’t believe so, but we have some lovely yellow ones on the clearance rack.

 Me:  I don’t want yellow. It has to be black.

Clerk: Why?

Me:  (refrains from saying “Because I :censor: said so, dumbass”)  My ATV is black, and my helmet, gloves and goggles are pink and black, so yellow wouldn’t go.

Clerk: You could get a pink one.

Me:  A pink sweatshirt would show the dirt too much.

Clerk:  Dirt?

Me:  Yeah, like mud, trail dust, the occasional bug smear.

Clerk: Perhaps you’d like to try a men’s store? Or…(*pauses*)…Walmart?

 Me: (refrains from saying :censor: you, lady)  Good idea! They’re friendly there, and they don’t charge an arm and a leg for factory seconds and last year’s cast-offs. You have a nice day, though.

 I hate shopping. Seriously. That’s why my jeans are faded beyond stylish and I own three pairs of shoes.  :gaah: 

9 comments to “The Holy Grail Hoodie”

  1. Emma Wayne Porter
      · May 13th, 2008 at 10:13 am · Link

    I think the last place El Jeffe found one was Cabelas… :hide:

  2. Heather Rae Scott
      · May 13th, 2008 at 10:20 am · Link

    :clap: for bitch slapping the clerk. I was going to say Cabela’s or like Gander Mountain–Dicks? Sometimes they have them on clearance and they’re name brand.

  3. Amie Stuart
      · May 13th, 2008 at 10:36 am · Link

    Ebay……. :nod:

  4. Charlene
      · May 13th, 2008 at 12:53 pm · Link

    I got my black hoodie from Think Geek. :thumb: It’s pullover, not zip-up, though. Didja try Target?

  5. Natalie J. Damschroder
      · May 13th, 2008 at 6:51 pm · Link

    I’ve seen them in Old Navy, though you might need to look in the men’s section.

  6. Shannon
      · May 13th, 2008 at 9:47 pm · Link

    The problem is I’m riding Saturday. Mud season is almost over! :boogie:

    And while the people who know me will be STUNNED to learn this, I have a tendency to leave things until the last possible second.

    I didn’t think of Dick’s. We have one in Concord. Wicked overpriced, though, unless you hit the clearance rack. And Target’s clothes are too…perky? chipper? for me.

  7. Jana J. Hanson
      · May 13th, 2008 at 10:25 pm · Link

    You could also try a cheerleading shop. Or online at (but I’m not sure you’d have it by this weekend).

  8. kate r
      · May 15th, 2008 at 6:32 am · Link

    we get ours at the local CVS. No sure why a drug store sells sweats but. . .Shall I pick up a couple for your?

  9. Shannon
      · May 15th, 2008 at 9:52 am · Link

    The only black sweatshirt in the entire county is a Matt Kenseth one in the men’s department of the Evil Empire. Being a Juan Pablo fan…no thanks.

    Gee, I wonder why I can’t find a Juan Pablo sweatshirt… :groucho:

    I picked up a pink one, and I’m going to go over to the Honda shop and order one from there. If I have to go online, I might as well as get a Honda hoodie.

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