Shannon Stacey

Kinda Retro Shan: May 10, 2007

We’re heading out. Today’s the last day of mud season, so tomorrow we get to ride! :boogie:

Because I always forget how to pack over the course of the winter, I’m currently running around like a starving racoon chasing a hot dog on a string, so I’m reposting a list I did from last summer.

A few things women need to know about four-wheeling:

* Make sure your personal grooming has been meticulously attended to before hitting the trails. Tick check is significantly more humiliating if you look like you’ve been drinking gorilla milk.

* Pay special attention to that upper lip and eyebrows. Trail dust clings to even the finest of hairs, and you do not want to arrive back at camp—or at a trailside restaurant—with an Adolph ’stache and a unibrow. Trust me.

* Pack an empty cup with your gear. It is almost impossible to hang your ass over a log without encountering suspect foliage, even more suspect insects or pissing all over yourself. But any woman can pee in a cup. Of course, you then have to stand around wondering what the hell to do with the cup.

* At some point—generally when facing a large amount of water or mud—the guys will say “ladies first”. This is not an act of chivalry.

* It’s natural to be a little paranoid about being in the forest with starving wild animals during those days of the month, but take comfort in knowing that—in your current mood—you’d scare the crap out of anything smaller than a full-grown rabid Kodiak anyway.

* Four words: Really. Good. Sports. Bra.

Have a great weekend!

One comment to “Kinda Retro Shan: May 10, 2007”

  1. Annmarie
      · May 16th, 2008 at 9:56 am · Link

    Hope y’all have fun!

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