I’ve read it several times now and I still have no idea what my stars are trying to tell me, but I have a feeling I might want to wear my helmet.
Virgo for the week of April 24
The billboard I saw said, “Develop a recreational habit that won’t show up in your urine.” I didn’t catch what product it was advertising, but there was an image of a hang-glider, so I figure it was promoting outdoor sports as a preferable alternative to taking drugs. The billboard message happens to be excellent advice for you, Virgo. In the coming weeks, you’ll be wise to seek liberating adventure and explore new modes of natural fun. Doing so will steer you away from a path that could lead to messy adventure and decadent fun.
Okay, let’s see.
1. This is the first time that I can recall my horoscope containing a mention of my urine. That’s awesome.
2. My fate is written not in the stars, but on roadside advertising. Maybe if I’d paid more attention during our roadtrip to Florida, I’d know which book to focus on right now.
3. So I need liberating—but not messy—adventure and natural—but not decadent—fun. I’d say that’s a cosmic sign I should go ride my ATV, but it’s mud season so 1) it would be messy and 2) the fine would not be liberating.