Shannon Stacey

Letters to the Idols: Neil Diamond Week

Neil Diamond? Oh, come on! What’s next? Julia Ward Howe week?

Digression—NCIS: Anybody else think the giving of the laptop would have been more touching if she’d given her the power cord, too?

Anyway…(Pleasepleaseplease don’t let Archuleta sing “Sweet Caroline”.)

Crap, they’re each doing two songs tonight. I’ll take the performances in order rather than try to collate.

Dear Jason Castro: (“Forever in Blue Jeans”) I actually liked it, especially the opening lines where you used that deeper man voice. Unfortunately, toward the end you reverted to Ukelele Boy again.

Dear David Cook: (“I’m Alive”) The chorus was your usual awesome, but the opening was…flat. Like deep rocker robo-voice. Still better than Ukelele Boy, of course.

Dear Brooke White: (“I’m a Believer”) Ack. The karaoke version at the end of Shrek was a gazillion times better. Sweetie, when you get your ass kicked vocally by Donkey, it’s time to pack your bag, grab a tuppence or two and go feed the birds.

Dear David Archuleta: (“Sweet Caroline”) I knew it. Dammit. As a Red Sox fan, I found your rendition to be lacking in energy. Dude, don’t you know you have to shout the BOM BOM BOM really loud? But I’m sure you have plenty of voters out there—probably a lot of :censor: Yankees fans—and you’ll survive.

Dear Syesha Mercado: (“Hello Again”) Pretty. Well sung. Boring.

Dear Jason Castro again: (“September Morning”) That was very pretty. Really. I have, however, discovered this season I like my male singers to be as alpha as my romance heroes. You’re just too beta for me, honeypie.

Dear David Cook again: (“All I Really Need is You”) You sound a lot like the (former?) lead singer of Fuel. And the better you are, the more boring I look because there’s no room for mocking. Even a New Englander can only say “Wicked awesome” so many times. You totally outsang Donkey, though.

Dear Brooke White again: (“I am, I said”) So that was actually pretty good, I thought. Granted, I was pretty distracted, pondering whether or not there should be a comma in the title of the song. Being a comma whore, I decided there should.

Dear David Archuleta: (“Coming to America”) You want a little wine with that cheese?

Dear Syesha Mercado again: (“Thank the Lord for the Nighttime”) I think was, surprisingly, my favorite of the not-David-Cooks. When you get that high-personality, bluesy thing going, I like you.

I vote to evict: David Archuleta (for singing “Sweet Caroline”)

I think the mad texters should vote to evict: Brooke White

7 comments to “Letters to the Idols: Neil Diamond Week”

  1. Alison
      · April 30th, 2008 at 10:24 am · Link

    You know, I never call in and vote EVER, but thinking this is about the time Chris Daughtry got voted off . . . I started at about 5 till the hour dialing for Cook, and I got through – like 20 times. I stopped when the husband came home with dinner, but it was not a good omen, all those free lines.

  2. Heather Rae Scott
      · April 30th, 2008 at 11:06 am · Link

    This household uses cell phones and the house phone to dial the numbers for David Cook. I’m with ya Alison, Daughtry and now Carly has made me dial in. I :heart: David Cook.

    Shannon, as usual I was cracking up at your observances and of course agreeing with you completely. I’m still scorned that Carly is gone. Brooke seemed terrified to me and I have to agree with Joy Bower of The View–When Brooke sings, she looks like she’s just discovered she has hemmoroids.

  3. Dee
      · April 30th, 2008 at 11:16 am · Link

    I say Castro needs to go for a) not having the bass for September Morn or the b) ability to infuse any feeling into his voice other than contrived happy rainbows.

    And yes, please God, bye bye Brooke. If you can’t grow, baby, you get pruned.


  4. Annmarie
      · April 30th, 2008 at 11:28 am · Link

    If they keep Jason on one more week… :gaah:

  5. Amie Stuart
      · April 30th, 2008 at 12:01 pm · Link

    I really like Jason but last night was painful. I think he’s READY to go home, ya know? Like he’s had enough and his bags are packed.

    DOn’t hit me. I voted for Brooke this week. Quite a few times.

  6. laurie
      · April 30th, 2008 at 10:26 pm · Link

    i thought i was the only one who thought that about the power cord!!

    i :heart: ncis!

  7. Shannon
      · May 3rd, 2008 at 10:34 am · Link

    Amie? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? (I’m glad she’s gone, but I’m glad I didn’t watch it because I think she’s a sweetie and I would have bawled.)

    Laurie, I kept thinking “Here, kid, enjoy an hour and twenty minutes of freedom from your opression.”.

    Hopefully, Jason’s next.

  • Get my latest news straight to your inbox!

    I'll only be sending newsletters when I have news to share, and I'll never share your information. You'll receive an email asking you confirm your subscription (so please check your spam box if you don't receive that). You can unsubscribe at anytime.


  • Affiliation

    Shannon Stacey is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of

    If you purchase a book listed on the site from, she’ll earn a small commission. Thank you!