Dear Luke Menard: (“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” – Wham!) Dude, don’t sing Wham! ever again. Seriously. I think you’re going to be voted off the island.
Dear David Archuleta: (“Another Day In Paradise” – Phil Collins) I think you’re wicked amazing, but at some point you’re going to have to pick something up-tempo. (Ooh, Simon agreed with me! The boy needs a caffeine buzz.)
Dear Danny Noriega: (“Tainted Love” – Soft Cell) I thought that was pretty damn good and so far my favorite of the night. (Of course, you’re only the third to perform, so we’ll see.)
Dear David Hernandez: ( “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” – Pandora’s Box/Meatloaf) If it wasn’t such a bitch to clean a 46″ flat screen, I would have licked your face.
Dear Michael Johns: (“Don’t You (Forget About Me)” – Simple Minds) Gutsy song choice, but I don’t really think you nailed it. Between that and the ugly-ass jacket, I think you’re going to be the second houseguest evicted.
Dear David Cook: (“Hello” – Lionel Richie)(But like you’ve never heard it before.) I’ve thought from the beginning you seem like a skeezy kind of guy, but omfg that was wicked freakin’ awesome and one of my fave Idol performances ever.
Dear Jason Castro: (“Hallelujah” – Leonard Cohen) So very pretty, but boring. Again.
Dear Chikezie: (“All The Man That I Need” – Sister Sledge/Luther Vandross) I really like your voice and I hope you’re around long enough to sing something a little more contemporary.
Dear Matt in the Big Brother House: Please don’t ever do that “off the block” dance again, k?