Just finished the first school run of the morning and it’s a balmy -8 degrees (F). Balmy? Sure. No wind chill today. In a bizarre twist, we might hit 50 come Tuesday (which is good, it’ll get the voters to the primary in higher numbers), so in honor of today’s seasonable (and normal) weather, I figured I’d reprint this bit of weather humor.

60 F:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe.

50 F:
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens.

40 F:
Italian & English cars won’t start. People in New England drive with the windows down.

32 F:
Distilled water freezes. Maine’s Moose head Lake’s water gets thicker.

20 F:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 F:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0 F:
All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.

-10 F:
Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

-20 F:
Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats.

-50 F:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

-100 F:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get frustrated because they can’t start their “kahs.”

-460 F:
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in New England start saying, “cold ’nuff for ya?”

-500 F:
Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series. (But…but…but…HA! WE WON IT!) (And again!)