Shannon Stacey

I need a "doink doink" button

You know, that sound from Law & Order that signifies a scene change and a wratcheting up of the tension?


Doink doink

Today will be Day 1 of no Dunkin Donuts.

(This is where I pause to sigh and bang my head on the desk.) A while back I weaned myself from four large iced coffees to two per day, switching to black raspberry seltzer water in the late afternoon. But they jacked the prices again. Two large iced coffees were $4.74 on Monday and $5.19 on Tuesday. It might not seem like a lot, but there has to be a line drawn and I guess I drew it at $5.00.

One major problem—I make the world’s shittiest coffee at home. Seriously, the only reason we drink it is because it has an automatic timer and when you’re staggering and bleary-eyed in the morning, shitty coffee hot and waiting is better than making instant yourself. I’ve tried pretty much every brand (including DD), but—whether it’s my cheapo coffeemaker or my inability to measure properly—the stuff is barely drinkable.

Since I will be drinking really shitty coffee while trying to wrestle with Sven, I’ll probably be a little scarce. I’ll be reading, but probably not commenting because it seems everywhere I look there’s at least one author acting like a total moron. I’m not sure how kicking DD cold turkey will affect my brain-to-fingers filter, so I’m going to say as little as possible in as few places as possible.

Sven can run, but he can’t hide.

15 comments to “I need a "doink doink" button”

  1. Melani Blazer
      · November 14th, 2007 at 10:21 am · Link

    Maxwell house, and possibly several other brands, make a filterpack–the coffee’s premeasured for either 5 or 10 cups. If that’s still shitty, you need a new coffee maker.

    *hugs Pepsi* Thank GOD my caffeine comes in ready to drink cans and bottles. :)

  2. Charlene
      · November 14th, 2007 at 12:06 pm · Link

    Sooo….how long’s it been since your coffee maker got cleaned? That might be the issue. Or as Mel suggested, get a new one and use those pre-measured packs. Good luck!

  3. Alison Kent
      · November 14th, 2007 at 12:16 pm · Link

    Have you tried grinding your own beans? We buy Sumatra beans, both light and dark, mix them and grind them as we use them, and our pot has a timer, so we can do it at night. Except we never know when we’re getting up, so we rarely do! I now can’t drink any other coffee at all because it’s so boring.

  4. Shannon
      · November 14th, 2007 at 1:14 pm · Link

    You have to clean them? :eyebrow:

    I wash the carafe and the filter basket. I wipe the hotplate thingy down after it’s cool.

    :shrug: Who knew?

    I’m going to check out the filter packs. Although Sumatra beans sounds like very sexy coffee. Might have to check that out, too.

    I’ve had two cans of Coke already this morning. BIG mistake. Sugar effects me much more strongly than caffeine does and I’m driving myself MAD! :crazy:

    I bought some…umm…Nestle Pure Life Great Tea Refreshers w/ Mandarin orange flavor. It says “Green tea water beverage”. I don’t know WTF that means. And since it has zero calories, fat, sodium, carbs, sugars or proteins, I’m not sure I want to know how they make it taste like anything. It looks a little too much like urine. Yuck.

    But I’m going to crack one open anyway because if I continue with the Coke, I’ll be doing an upside-down on the ceiling Spiderman thing by the time my guys come home.

  5. Shannon
      · November 14th, 2007 at 1:18 pm · Link



    ptew ptew

    Holy shit, that’s nasty.

  6. Alison Kent
      · November 14th, 2007 at 1:21 pm · Link

    I run far far away from ANYTHING that says green tea. It makes me migrain-y and nauseous. Seriously bad.

  7. Emma Wayne Porter
      · November 14th, 2007 at 6:59 pm · Link

    Have you tried using bottled water?

    Sometimes it helps, I hear.

    /chocolate :hug:

  8. Ann
      · November 14th, 2007 at 8:50 pm · Link

    You might try diet coke (or pepsi), you’d get the caffeine without the sugar buzz (that’s one reason I switched). Also you can buy Starbuck’s frappacinos bottled and in the grocery store. Good luck! :coffee:

  9. Bev Stephans
      · November 15th, 2007 at 5:26 am · Link

    The initial investment will be high, but it will be worth it in the long run. First buy a new coffeemaker with a thermal carafe. This will keep your coffee warm for approximately 3 hours and it won’t get burned from the heating element. Second, invest in a bur grinder. Don’t buy a blade grinder, they’re worthless. The bur grinder I own is a Capresso and I highly recommend it. I had another brand first, but the parts kept breaking. Third, buy a Brita water pitcher and filters. Filtered water will make your coffee taste much better.

    The hard part is deciding which coffee beans to buy. If you like Dunkin’ Donut’s coffee and they sell whole bean coffee, I would try that first. I buy my beans from Books-A-Million. I get the whole bean, 100% Columbian and I love it.

    I know this sounds like a lot of time and money, but once the intial investment is made and you have found the beans you like, you’ll never go back to pre-ground coffee or, god forbid, instant! HAPPY DRINKING!!

  10. Alison Kent
      · November 15th, 2007 at 6:24 am · Link

    We have a Capresso bur grinder, too. It’s been awesome. Unfortunately, after 5 years or so it’s also gone dull, and takes longer to grind. The husband keeps saying he needs to disassemble it and sharpen the blades. And totally agree on the carafe. We loved stainless steel.

    I’ve become a terrible coffee snob. I can’t drink off the shelf brands. I’ll go for tea instead if that’s all that’s available (except I will say Millstone is pretty good, and is what Waffle House serves!).

  11. Jade James
      · November 15th, 2007 at 9:52 am · Link

    I make shitty coffee too. Luckily, my husband makes it for me. :-)

    And on authors acting like morons? **sigh** It’s just safer if I sigh LOL.

    Take care Shannon.

  12. Shannon
      · November 15th, 2007 at 10:16 am · Link

    Well, the green tea experiment was over in like 3 sips. My coffee may be gross, but it’s not that gross.

    And I’m making notes on all these suggestions and will be assembling a Christmas list.

    Well, maybe…I’ve got a Palm T/X on my list and I don’t want to have to choose. But being able to make a good cup of coffee at home sounds awfully good.

    For now I’ll stop experimenting with non-coffee drinks and just drink my crappy home-brewed.

  13. Diane
      · November 20th, 2007 at 3:58 pm · Link

    The most important part of making good coffee (in addition to getting a burr grinder to grind your beans freshly every day, using good tasting water, cleaning out your coffee maker, and using a thermos carafe coffee maker :) ) is:

    Measure out the coffee and water every time.

    2 Tablespoons of ground coffee to 6 (six) ounces of cold water. Starbucks sells a metal scoop that measures 2 tablespoons (if you’re lazy like me). Measure this out each and every morning.

    I love drinking coffee at home since I started following this recipe exactly.

  14. PBW
      · November 21st, 2007 at 9:52 am · Link

    The doctor made me give up coffee years ago, and once I got through the subsequent nightmare week of caffeine-withdrawl-induced headaches, my stomach really thanked me for it.

    For about $6.99 a pound you can buy bags of Dunkin Donut ground or whole bean coffee and brew it at home (my guy loves it and won’t drink anything else, so I go through about 2 lbs. a month for him) I’ve experimented, trying to get as close to what our DD makes, and discovered that 1 rounded coffee measure of grounds per 3 cups of water is the closest I can get. Using liquid creamer also helps.

    If you ever consider giving tea another go, I recommend brewing loose versus the bag. It takes a little getting used to, but the tea tastes much better. My cousin in England sends me a tea care package every couple of months, but there are also some good, strong black teas on the American market (some decaf varieties, too) that come loose in tins. I don’t even bother with a tea ball anymore; I just spoon it in and add boiling water.

  15. Shannon
      · November 23rd, 2007 at 11:29 am · Link

    I’ve actually typed all this info into a Word doc so I can save it and start assembling the things I need. Woot!

    We might try Green Mountain beans instead of DD, though. Not only did the price go up, but they’re coffee’s been a bit…bitter lately. Don’t know if that’s lazy coffee brewers or some change in their bean growings, but it hasn’t been great. The husband and his biz partner have been grabbing GM coffee at the gas station instead of DD every morning and he says it’s better.

    I appreciate the advice!

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