(Yes, I’m totally ripping off this idea from Emma, but she’ll forgive me or I’ll send her emails every five minutes asking if Jason’s book is done yet.)

So…things I learned this weekend:

1. School shopping sucks. The tall kid doesn’t see anything wrong with his current (ratty) sneakers or clothes and, when I suggested he go in the fitting room to try on a pair of jeans, he gave me a look that clearly said if he knew how to operate the stove and the car, he’d do a Menendez on my ass. The short kid happily wanted one of everything and—like his father—will happily strip down behind the clothing rack to try something on. I swear, trying to keep those two fully clothed in public is almost as wearying as getting a signed affadavit from the store manager swearing in his own blood they won’t use the security cameras to spy on the tall kid’s fitting room.

2. If you’re going to trim a crabapple tree, wait until after trimming to rake the fallen crabapples. Doing it twice would have been worse than school shopping if not for the fact my children disappeared when yard work was mentioned and I got some peace and quiet. Well, as peaceful and as quiet as is possible when I’m holding a ladder so the husband can trim branches, pelting me with falling crabapples.

3. HelenKay Dimon writes the best banter. I finally got a chance to sit and read and plucked Viva Las Bad Boys out of the TBR mountain. One word: autobuy.

4. Gizmo, the torti cat, had decided she needs more room at the foot of my bed and has no problem reminding me of that should I need to straighten my legs, thereby putting my feet in her space. It looks like I walked barefooted through a briar patch.

5. The neighborhood bees do not want me deadheading the coreopsis. Since the husband already got stung this week, I decided to retreat.

6. Wild Hogs wasn’t nearly as funny as it should have been, considering the cast, but it had its moments. Tim Allen swinging from William H. Macy was definitely one of the funnier ones.