Both of my children are in school today. Right up until about suppertime last night, I thought I’d party like mad today. I’ve been working toward this day for 12 years, after all.
But I miss the short kid desperately. Like keep breaking into tears kind of desperately.
Not that I don’t miss the tall kid, but he’s really quiet and he’s in the 7th grade now, so I’m used to him being gone. But the short kid, he’s larger than life in a way. He brings the drama and the joy and the music and the attitude and more drama to the day. He talks constantly and is intensely interactive. For the past several years, he’s been gone 2 1/2 hours a day for the school year, but that was always a frantic rush to get errands and such done. This is different.
So Jaci and Mel told me I should use this time to write, and my mind kind of went kerphlooey on me. I don’t know how to sit for hours and be a writer. I write on the move, in between discussions of Darth Maul and why cats lick their own butts and why french fries don’t count as a vegetable and where Kyle Bush will race next year. In between phone calls and errands and tripping over lightsabers and roller skating on Matchbox cars.
The school schedules are offset by an hour for bussing purposes, so technically I’m not a stay-at-home mom from 8:30 am until 2:20 pm, I guess. So what to be for those six hours? Sitting here in the still silence, facing the computer screen seems daunting. Maybe I should have audiotaped the short kid all summer so I could at least pretend I have chaos.
Maybe it’s time to learn a new way to write.