Shannon Stacey

Thursday Thirteen # 12
Thirteen True Confessions of a Small Screen Addict

1. My family recently started watching America’s Got Talent and…I’m starting to find The Hoff a little bit sexy. (Highlight to bear witness to my secret shame.) I know. There should be some kind of scarlet letter for that particular crime. I take comfort, however, in the knowledge I don’t find him anywhere near as sexy as he himself does.

2. My sister has had my Firefly and Serenity DVDs for 40 days. I started twitching 39 days ago.

3. I’ve never seen an episode of The Bachelor. The entire premise offends my HEA-lovin’ sensibilities. I actually tried to DVR the premier episode of this past season simply because my sister keeps asking me if I watch it and I keep saying no and I’m told it’s good to shake things up occasionally, but that night lightening struck nearby, knocking out our power—and causing our DVR to miss it—which I took as a sign, reinforcing my belief that change is bad. (It did not have, however, any effect on my belief that uber-compound sentences beset by plagues of commas and the occasional em dash are good.)

4. I wish Hell’s Kitchen was on HBO so they wouldn’t have to bleep Chef Ramsay’s delicious, foul-mouthed awesomeness. The man leaves me seriously hot and bothered.

5. I’ve never seen an episode of Alias. (Sometimes a show looks stupid and then—by the time you hear it’s not—it’s too late. I can’t jump into the middle of a television series any more than I can a book series.)

6. I still miss 90210.

7. I am addicted to King Arthur (the Clive Owen & Kiera Squintly version) and pop the DVD in at least twice a month even though the movie, quite frankly, sucks.

8. My DVR box is glitching, but I haven’t scheduled a repair tech because they might replace it and I still have the season finale of The Unit and half a season of NCIS saved to watch. (Not so)Sadly, it only seems to glitch during my husband’s programming.

9. We’re still :censor: paying for :censor: HBO even though we haven’t :censor: watched the :censor: channel since the :censor: :censor: :censor: cancelled :censor: Deadwood because I still :censor: hope they’ll bring back the :censor: show. Cahksuckahs! (If you’re a Deadwood fan, I trust you read that with the appropriate accent. If not, never mind.)

10. I am, apparently, one of the few females on the planet who think the Three Stooges were the funniest bastards ever born.

11. I’m newly addicted to the PotC/Survivor-blending knock-off reality show, Pirate Master, and would have sex with Louie sober.

12. I think everybody involved with Reign of Fire should be forced to submerse themselves in ice baths and then streak during the next Superbowl half-time show. Come on, people—Christian, Matthew and dragons? That movie should have been freakin’ amazing. (Plus, sprinting shrinkage would make for a more entertaining half-time show than Janet’s nipple.)

13. Cops remains one of my all-time favorite shows. Whether I’m laughing my ass off at the capacity for sheer stupidity in my fellow man or ranting at the blatant, unapologetic civil rights violations, I’m always entertained.

Favorite themes: Saran Wrap-clad hookers rinsing and spitting while tucking ten bucks in their G-strings, then saying “I don’t know this guy—I just gived him a blowjob and then he just gived me money, but I ain’t no prostitute, Officer” and the serious bad-asses who sob and piss themselves in the face of frothing, snarling German Shephards.

Favorite recurring line: “Officer, I don’t know how that got my pocket. Honest“.

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11 comments to “Thursday Thirteen # 12”

  1. Joely
      · June 28th, 2007 at 8:16 am · Link

    I love Hell’s Kitchen too. Try finding “Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares” on the BBC. Their language censors are much less stringent. I think we’re getting an Americanized version soon.

  2. Charlene
      · June 28th, 2007 at 8:55 am · Link

    I don’t know how you can sleep at night with your Serenity and Firefly DVDs on loan. I’m twitching just thinking about it.

  3. Shiloh Walker
      · June 28th, 2007 at 9:40 am · Link

    My daughter is one of the females amused by the Stooges. I keep hoping she’ll grow out of it. I honestly don’t get them. At all.

  4. Alison
      · June 28th, 2007 at 9:59 am · Link

    Okay, Reign of Fire is one of my fave movies EVER. I swear I’ve watched it a gazillion times. Total comfort viewing (which is weird since it’s full of things not comforting!).

  5. Heather Rae Scott
      · June 28th, 2007 at 12:05 pm · Link

    “I don’t know this guy—I just gived him a blowjob and then he just gived me money, but I ain’t no prostitute, Officer”


  6. Michelle
      · June 28th, 2007 at 12:59 pm · Link

    I don’t know some of those shows but I still miss 90210 too – shhh don’t tell anyone! LOL

    Hell’s Kitchen is on Food Network up here and I don’t think they bleep him. Or maybe it wasn’t food network but they still didn’t bleep him. I hear all his words in pure unadultered scariness (not sure that’s a word)

  7. Lesley Speller
      · June 28th, 2007 at 1:37 pm · Link

    Have you ever seen America’s Dumbest Criminals? Now that show is a study in the limits of human beings stupidity!

  8. Jenn L
      · June 28th, 2007 at 8:57 pm · Link

    I have never watched Alias or the Bachelor as well and I admit that I am addicted to American Idol. Not for the singing or the talent, but because I want to hear Simon tell people off. The auditions are the best, and I do cheer for my favorites. Simon just maked the show for me.

    I think I should check out this Chef show, he sounds as good as Simon is. Oh and Shannon, How is Gallagher? I was thinking about him today when I wrote my Thursday Thirteen.

  9. Jaci Burton
      · June 28th, 2007 at 9:48 pm · Link

    Bad Boys Bad Boys, watcha gonna do…whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

    LOVE Cops. Love it love it love it. And I agree the ones with K-9 units just slay me. And my dogs particularly enjoy those episodes too. All that barking, ya know. :lmao:

  10. Ann
      · June 28th, 2007 at 11:34 pm · Link

    I love the stooges, probably the result of growing up with an older brother. Hey Mo! Happy TT.:popcorn:

  11. Ember
      · June 29th, 2007 at 7:22 pm · Link

    I love it – but it’s time to remind your sister there’s a special hell for people who don’t return Josh DVD’s. A hell where they’ll never get to see Mal aimin’ to misbehave again.

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