Because I spent all day yesterday in the sun, pulling weeds from my garden while I could still call it a garden with a straight face, I was a little slow getting going today. During the school year I run like a madwoman in the morning, but today I curled up on the couch with my coffee and watched “Good Morning America” with the boys.
1. There’s a study out claiming the oldest child of a family averages three IQ points higher than his/her siblings. Of course, as the oldest, I could have told you that.
(I’m kidding, but I’m still waiting to answer the phone and hear “NUH-UH!” on the other end.)
2. The new Subaru commercial cracked me up. It’s the one in which they claim the car “helps you answer the call of the wild” and there are these little raccoon voices calling the man. “Ricky…..Ricky…” I don’t know why, but serious funny bone ticklage there.
3. Okay, the heroic Father’s Day/bear story. Dad takes his two little boys on a camping trip. Black bear arrives. (WTF is up with the black bears lately, anyway? People need to quit with the urban sprawl before they all start behaving like kodiaks.) So Dad is going to grab up some pots and pans and scare him off. Standard, effective black bear repellant. But, while the bear is happily ripping their cooler in half, the six year old grabs up a shovel in its defense. The bear stops happily tearing apart their coolor and starts snarling in the child’s direction. Dad is forced to abandon standard and effective repellant, grab up a log and defend his child.
To paraphrase news guy: What a brave boy.
I looked over at the short kid, who was looking back at me, with that look.
Him: (clearly struggling with not wanting to dispute The News Guy, but we camp where there be bears, and he’s been told.) He should have got in their truck.
Me: What if their truck wasn’t nearby?
Him: Then he should have tried to stay behind his dad so his dad was between him and the bear.
Me: What don’t you do?
Him: Fight a bear for a cooler.
Me: That’s right.
Him: Why don’t they say that, instead of calling him brave cause now other kids might do it, too.
Me: It’s what they call a “feel-good” story.
Him: He wouldn’t feel good if he got killed. You should send them an email.
And then the DVR was shut off and Star Wars: Battlefront II commenced. :bang: