I am Thursday Thirteen-less today. Since I started doing that meme, the weeks fly by and this particular day keeps sneaking up on me. I tried to think of an in-a-crunch throwaway list this morning, but no dice. And I know I promised to blog about something writing-related, but no dice there, either. Romanceland burnout, I guess. I’m a person easily discouraged and the recent goings-on, while interesting in a train wreck sort of way at first, were starting to drown me in a sense of doom and despair, so I had to shut it off, so to speak.
I’m hoping this weekend will recharge the batteries. I get to go riding for the first time since fall, and…*drum roll*…we’re not taking the boys! :boogie:
In honor of this amazing event, here’s a list of things every woman should know before going 4-wheeling (unfortunately not thirteen things):
* Make sure your personal grooming has been meticulously attended to before hitting the trails. Tick check is significantly more humiliating if you look like you’ve been drinking gorilla milk.
* Pay special attention to that upper lip and eyebrows. Trail dust clings to even the finest of hairs, and you do not want to arrive back at camp—or at a trailside restaurant—with an Adolph ‘stache and a unibrow. Trust me.
* Pack an empty cup with your gear. It is almost impossible to hang your ass over a log without encountering suspect foliage, even more suspect insects or pissing all over yourself. But any woman can pee in a cup. Of course, you then have to stand around wondering what the hell to do with the cup.
* At some point—generally when facing a large amount of water or mud—the guys will say “ladies first”. This is not an act of chivalry.
* It’s natural to be a little paranoid about being in the forest with starving wild animals during those days of the month, but take comfort in knowing that—in your current mood—you’d scare the crap out of anything smaller than a full-grown rabid Kodiak anyway.
* Four words: Really. Good. Sports. Bra.