Dear Lovely Editor:

I feel a need to explain the presence of the word “wouldirt” in Taming Eliza Jane. I swear I did not type that word. Stop rolling your eyes. See, if I use the stylus to handwrite text on my iPaq, the transcriber function always renders the way I write wouldn’t as wouldirt. I usually catch it. Usually. Yes, I know spellcheck would have caught that. No, I didn’t run it. Yes, I know how you feel about authors who don’t run spellcheck before sending in a book. Stop looking at me like that.

Dear Scott and Jen:

With regard to yesterday’s blog entry, there will be no having hot monkey sex on the kitchen table. Yes, I know Mel and Charli suggested it, but you need to remember they write those hot, sexy books. In your book, nookie is optional and you will not be getting any unless you give me some dialogue that doesn’t seem to be constructed with remainder bin lumber and bent ten penny nails.