Hey, it’s me…Ezmerelda, Shannon’s much better half. No, not her husband. Her muse.

Here’s a picture from when I took my Mini Cooper and tried to escape Shannon’s cruelly insane world and flee to visit my homeland. You might notice the backdrop looks more like England than Guatemala. Freaking Mapquest. I thought about seeing if Shannon’s friend Anna Lucia would adopt me, but she already has a muse. And her muse writes kick-ass suspense so she could probably break me in half as though I were made of twigs.

So…this week? Well, Shannon told you about almost dropping the short kid. Here’s something she didn’t tell you about. (But I will because she is a crazy lady and I take joy in her misfortunes.) The day before yesterday she finished washing her dishes, took the trash out to the barrel and then ran back for the house because she hadn’t bothered with a coat. Subzero wind chill. Her hand not totally dry. Metal doorknob. It was a good day. (For me.)

As for work (which I do most of), we sent off the final line edits for On the Edge and worked on Taming Eliza Jane. Shannon, the dummy, wrote us into a little box and then she left it up to me to get us out. We’re also working on the proposal for the sequel, Becoming Miss Becky so she can see if her editor thinks it sucks. Personally, I think life would be easier (for me) if I could deal directly with Angie myself, but alas…I can’t type.

We had a lovely argument with ourself while waiting in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru line this morning. Shannon wanted to list the reasons she wouldn’t be submitting the scene she wrote with the Romeo & Juliet thing anywhere. I told her she was too stupid to live.

When somebody tells you your child is wonderful, you do not say, “Thank you, but he pees on the back of the toilet, talks too much, won’t eat vegetables and is a child of the corn.” You say thank you, then beat the child into submission while nobody’s watching.

(For the record, Shannon does not beat her children, which is no doubt why she spends so much time cleaning the back of her toilet while leaving me to climb out of the plot holes she’s dragged us down into.)

So she simply accepts your kind comments with gratitude, even though it’s me who does all the work and all she does is type.

Oh, and you all know Mandy and Michelle are doing Raven Podcasts, right? I would love to be a guest star, but, as with the typing, Shannon would have to speak for me and I shudder to think of it. Imagine Carmen Miranda saying “Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd” and you would be very close. So for now I will content myself with these minor blog rebellions.

I will close for this week, leaving you with two thoughts. One, if Shannon tells you she is doing well with her resolution to Just Focus, she is lying. And two, somebody please save me from this crazy lady.