I’m taking over the blog today. Why? Because Shannon’s a boring, whiny bitch today, and I want to list the thirteen reasons I’d rather be Nora’s muse. What? Oh, who am I? I’m Shannon’s muse, unfortunately. And since she often says “Okay, Ezmerelda, let’s do this thing,” when she sits down to write, I think that might be my name. Either that or it’s some secret name she calls herself, in which case she’s worse off than I thought. She refused to get me the “official” code because she’s still kinda sick and she doesn’t really have the energy for TT, so here’s my unofficial hijacked Thursday Thirteen:
Thirteen reasons I’d rather be Nora’s muse than Shannon’s:
1. Nora has a quiet third-floor office. Shannon’s “den” is on the first floor and is only quiet from 11pm to 5:30am. When she’s sleeping.
2. I bet Nora has way better shoes.
3. If I was Nora’s muse, I’d get to see my books at Walmart instead of just comparing the unit prices of toilet paper.
4. You know, I bet Nora never even looks at the unit prices of toilet paper.
5. I’d get to dream up Roarke’s sex scenes.
6. I’d get to dream up even more of Roarke’s sex scenes. (Okay, I’d probably have to involve that cop Whatsername occasionally.)
7. I saw the picture of Nora on Shannon’s copy—hardcover copy, I might add—of Born in Death and I totally deserve to be with a writer who has a leather coat that awesome. The blue fleece zip-up jobby Shannon’s wearing today was a disgrace even before she dribbled coffee all down the front.
8. I could get sweatshirts with that cool NR logo on them.
9. I could get Nora to write some more of those luscious Irishmen. Shannon doesn’t know jack about Ireland. (Irony, ain’t it sweet?)
10. Nora only works on one story at a time, so I wouldn’t have to suffer from creative whiplash anymore. (I know Shannon told you I’m the schitzophrenic one, but I live with her and I can swear to the fact that all of her are full of crap.)
11. Nora’s husband owns a bookstore. Shannon’s is an electrician. Books? Woot! 30-amp disconnects? Snore.
Shannon: Try reading in the dark, Ezmerelda. And Nora doesn’t believe in muses, anyway. And what if she doesn’t like Dunkin Donuts iced coffees? What if they don’t even have a Dunkin Donuts?
Ignore her. She’s not well.
12. If I was Nora’s muse, they’d make my work into movies. As Shannon’s muse my only brush with television is having to work to the incessantly annoying soundtrack of Nick Jr.
13. Did I mention being Roarke’s sexual puppetmaster?