Shannon Stacey

There once was a post that was sticky…

This post will remain at the top until…oh, Christmas Eve, probably. Check under it for any sign of inane daily ramblings.
So what’s this post for? LIMERICKS!!! Read ’em, write ’em, post ’em. Anything holiday related.

Warning: Anything after the jump may contain bad language, sexual content, overwhelming festivity and/or Grinchiness and possibly the worst rhyming you’ve ever seen in your life. Proceed with caution and a sense of humor.

(Update: I decided to unsticky this one because I have a book releasing, but we can still play)

There once was a stressed out Mom
Whose house looked like test ground for a bomb
Poor Santa will stumble
And bad, bad words mumble
If she can’t restore some domestic calm.


10 comments to “There once was a post that was sticky…”

  1. Anna Lucia
      · December 13th, 2006 at 9:35 am · Link

    There once was a bright Christmas Fairy
    Who fell for a man who was hairy
    He took her home, where
    She found out he was Were,
    And the mating resulting was scary…

    Hmmm. Poor. Will try harder.

  2. Jaci Burton
      · December 13th, 2006 at 10:02 am · Link

    There once was a writer so harried
    She almost forgot she was married
    To her husband’s chagrin
    She couldn’t find him
    Under the piles of deadlines she carried


  3. Shannon
      · December 13th, 2006 at 11:08 am · Link

    There once were some really bad elves
    Who ate ALL the food on my shelves
    Don’t wanna go to the store
    Just to buy more
    That they’ll eat up all by themselves.

    (A tall elf and a short elf, of course.)

  4. Melani Blazer
      · December 13th, 2006 at 10:41 am · Link

    A gal once made cookies galore
    And by Christmas this job was a chore
    So she sat down and ate
    by the bowlful and plate
    Until she just had to have more.

    ~signed, the cookie monster

  5. Charlene
      · December 13th, 2006 at 1:18 pm · Link

    A girl wrote Santa a letter
    Asking for a love life that’s better
    Santa told the elves
    To outdo themselves
    With hot and wild sex toys to get her.


  6. Michelle
      · December 13th, 2006 at 3:26 pm · Link

    There once was a very fine writer
    that told all the critics to “bite her”
    because when she was made famous
    they were all put to shamus
    and all the readers did love her.


  7. Anna Lucia
      · December 13th, 2006 at 6:52 pm · Link

    There once was a fat man called Santa
    Who in sex, was a bit of a panter
    He wasn’t all twit –
    This Santa had wit
    Yes – Santa the panter could banter.


    A Christmas tree’s fun decorations
    Can offer new heights of sensation
    But baubles of glass
    Are a threat to your arse
    So please stick to safe titillation.

  8. Charlene
      · December 16th, 2006 at 9:24 pm · Link

    There once was a reindeer quite frisky
    For reindeer love that was risky
    While pulling the sleigh
    He wanted to play
    With Blitzen (who’d had too much whiskey)

  9. Wax
      · December 18th, 2006 at 11:20 pm · Link

    There once was a man on my roof
    who claimed to have got there by hoof
    I thought he was dotty
    or ready to rob me
    So I told him to cough up some proof

    First he showed me the reindeer and sleigh
    while his beer belly jigggled away
    I still didn’t buy it
    and told him to fly it
    or I’d be shovelling deer poop all day

    Next he modelled the trademark red suit
    with the faux fur and shiny black boot
    I said, “Give me a break
    ‘cuz that suit is a fake,
    and you look like a big wooly fruit”

    He said “Fine I’ll go back to the Pole”
    and told Comet, “Get ready to roll.”
    Then he called me a turd
    so I shot him the bird
    and for Christmas that year I got coal

  10. Jaci Burton
      · December 18th, 2006 at 11:28 pm · Link

    Wax. :lmao: I miss you dammit.

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