Shannon Stacey

A Pseudo-Thursday Thirteen

I wanted to start doing the Thursday Thirteen thing, but I have neither the time nor the expendable brain cells to figure out the code and the pretty graphic and all that. Hell, to be honest, I’m not even all that sure today is Thursday. So doing the “real” Thirteen thing will be on my New Years resolution list. For today, simply a list.

13 Reasons I Had DNF Books in 2006:

(As a reader, not as an author.)

1. Blatant rip-offs of popular bestsellers.

2. Porn masquerading as erotic romance.

3. Repetetive introspection. I can remember a character’s inner conflict for more than two pages. Honest.

4. Horrific dialect. Books do not come with Secret Dialogue Decoder rings.

5. Excessive use of brand names. If Starbucks, Pottery Barn, Manolo, Ikea, Chanel, and Blackberry all appear in the first two pages, I’m gone. And I ain’t coming back.

6. Choppy, unimaginative use of sentence structure. If I wanted to see Spot run, I’d kick him in the ass.

7. Being pretty sure I’ve read this same story by this same author over and over and over again, just with different titles and character names.

8. A strong, distinctive voice doesn’t mean you don’t need a plot.

9. Convoluted names beyond the ability of even those hooked on phonics to pronounce.

10. Heroines who had their hearts broken at fifteen and have sworn to never, EVAH even look at a man EVAH again.

11. Heroines in danger who call the men who broke their hearts at fifteen instead of…oh, say…the freakin’ police?

12. Plain old lack of craft.

13. The number one reason I put down a book and don’t pick it back up—it’s not the first in a series. If I pick up a book and nowhere on the cover or in the back copy or in the “also available” list does it imply it’s part of a series, and then I start reading and it becomes quickly apparent I’ve missed a book or two and that’s confirmed by a ‘net search, I will be pissed. And I will remember being pissed about that book for a long time.

(ETA: Actually #13 would be about tied with #2 for the number of times I’ve given up on a book.)

7 comments to “A Pseudo-Thursday Thirteen”

  1. Debbie E
      · December 21st, 2006 at 11:33 am · Link

    Shannon, I considered your 13 points and decided to buy your new book “In The Spirit” anyway.

    It sounds great and I can’t wait to get all the stuff done that I HAVE to and then hide and read.


    :woot::clap::heart: I love these icons!! Can you tell? :boogie:

  2. Shiloh
      · December 21st, 2006 at 11:39 am · Link

    :boogie: have you figured out who author b was yet? I wanna know.

    And I swear, that porn masquerading as erotic romance is getting tiresome. I’m almost afraid to try new authors because of that.:wink:

  3. Shiloh
      · December 21st, 2006 at 11:40 am · Link

    oh, btw… I think you can go here…

    and just use one of the graphics instead of the code and link back to the TT website. That is what I did. I want one of those winky widget thingies, but that one, I can’t figure out. THinking about roping a friend into doing it for me.

  4. Michelle
      · December 21st, 2006 at 3:16 pm · Link

    This list is good. I have to say #2 is happening a lot. I just read one like that and once I started skipping the scenes there wasn’t much left of the book. :eyebrow:

  5. Natalie J. Damschroder
      · December 21st, 2006 at 3:39 pm · Link

    What does “DNF” stand for? I get the gist, but can’t suss out the acronym.

    *feels stupid*

  6. Shannon
      · December 21st, 2006 at 4:43 pm · Link

    Thank you, Debbie! I hope you enjoy it!

    I haven’t figured out who Author B is yet. I had a thought, but she didn’t fit the info given. :eyebrow:

    And DNF’s a racing acronym: Did Not Finish. :tomato:

  7. Shiloh
      · December 22nd, 2006 at 1:07 am · Link

    :grouch: crap. oh well.

  • Get my latest news straight to your inbox!

    I'll only be sending newsletters when I have news to share, and I'll never share your information. You'll receive an email asking you confirm your subscription (so please check your spam box if you don't receive that). You can unsubscribe at anytime.


  • Affiliation

    Shannon Stacey is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of

    If you purchase a book listed on the site from, she’ll earn a small commission. Thank you!