When it comes to the Naughty or Nice list, you’re probably still sitting there, clicking your pencil against your teeth while pondering where to list me. But that’s okay. I’ve been around 34 years, so you’ve caught on to the fact that I might not be the best girl in the world, but I haven’t actually killed anybody yet.
All I want for Christmas is an ARC of Kiss of Midnight by Lara Adrian.
See, if you go here, you’ll see that Angie and Jaci already have one. They’re horribly mean about it. Angie even made the neener neener face at me. (I did call her a bitch, I know, but you know I meant that in a nice way.)
The neener neener face brings back horrible traumatic memories of junior high, and I can feel it eating away at my self-esteem even now. By May, my confidence will be crippled, perhaps even permanently.
If you bring me a Kiss of Midnight ARC, I’ll be a really, really good girl next year, Santa. (Or the next year…I’ll add it to my to-do list, anyway.) Please save me from months of the neener neener face.
Oh, and just to prove I’m a good friend even though they keep :neener: at me, I’ll tell you what my friends secretly want for Christmas. Angie wants desperately to get pregnant with quintuplets. I know that sounds like a lot, but quintuplets would make them a family of eight, which would mean she not only gets 6 kids, but gets to drive a schoolbus van to Walmart. It’s a secret dream of hers. Jaci wants to open her home as a wildlife refuge for wolf spiders. I’m not supposed to tell anybody, so when you put the initial batch in her stocking, don’t tell her I told you, okay?
With lots of cookies and milk (and I think Angie spits in the glass she leaves out for you),
Shan
Oh, and PS….Angie would love a bumper sticker that says “I BRAKE FOR MANTITTY!” for her bus-van.
Comment
:neener:
*does the heebie jeebie dance at the thought of wolf spiders*
bitch….(said with all kinds of love, santa…so, please, no spiders)
:hug:
Comment
You’re my kinda girl, Shannon. :nod:
Comment
:rulez: Isn’t it marked somewhere that you should be begging for things for me too? Huh? Huh?
Pool boys, feeding me grapes with….what? I can’t list these things here?
Comment
:lmao:
Comment
:lmao: Santa
Comment
From the North Pole offices of K. Kringle
Dear little Shannon,
What a kind and thoughtful young lady you have become, including wish lists for your friends along with your own request! That beautiful generosity of spirit does not go unnoticed here at Holiday Central, and I will gladly get to work on making your friends Christmas dreams come true. Between you and me, however, it’s been a while since my stud services have been requested, but I’ll do my best by little Angie. Ho, ho, ho!
And as for Jaci and the spiders, I happened to have heard her scream of surprise all the way up here in my offices last month, so I know how much your special request for her will mean. She’ll be touched, indeed. And just WAIT till you see what she has wished for you!
And, finally, we come to the humble request you made on your own behalf. I understand that little Lara is easily swayed by flattery and fawning — believe me, that’s landed her on my Naughty list more than once — so I’m sure that wrangling an ARC for you will be the work of a moment.
Off to work I go now. I’m going to have to hit the gym (not to mention the Viagara) in preparation of my visit to Angie’s house . . .
S.C.
Comment
:cheer:
Go Santa Go!
:lmao:
Comment
ROFL :rofl: I’m sure Angie will be thrilled with her gift.
Well on my Santa wish list is the next installment of the Devlin series…Do you think he may be able to get an arc for me? Just thought if I asked in advance it would be very nice.
Comment
Dear Santa,
My husband owns a gun. But he does work days. Too bad I hear you only work at night.
Dear Shan,
If I end up fielding my own basketball team at one time, I’ll blame you. Bitch. And :neener: I still have lots of ARCs you don’t. In fact, I’m going to be writing to the editor of Christmas Showdown by Janette Kenny as soon as I’m done writing this. :neener:
Comment
Oooh, somebody’s REALLY on the naughty list. :groucho:
Well on my Santa wish list is the next installment of the Devlin series…Do you think he may be able to get an arc for me?
Hmm…well, the elves have to write it first. Rumor has it the elves have been overdosing on Halloween candy and until they come down off their Tootsie Roll highs, typing may be difficult for their sticky, twitchy little fingers. But since I have a January deadline, I’m going to have to start getting tough with them.
Comment
In fact, I’m going to be writing to the editor of Christmas Showdown by Janette Kenny as soon as I’m done writing this.
OH. You….beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch!
Okay, the :rulez: say I\’m not supposed to :rant: about my editor in public because people are :popcorn: and may subject me to :tomato:, but you KNOW how much I want that :cowboy:
Now I\’ll be :grouch: while working on my edits….:write:
And just for that, I\’m going to STET \”tremoring\”.
:neener:
Comment
:lmao:
Comment
Mwahahaha! Hope you get your ARC. :lmao::rofl: