Today the item on my To-Do list circled in blaring red is finishing the print galleys for Twice Upon A Roadtrip, which made me think of Barney. No, not the purple dinosaur. This is Barney:
Why does working on Roadtrip make me think of a skunk? No, not because it stinks. If you’ve read it, you might remember why. Anway.
How did Barney come to be my lil buddy? My husband has a thing about skunks. Not as bad as my thing about chicken feet, but he’s not a fan. He wanted to evict Barney from the property—the hard way if necessary. So one day Barney’s roaming around my kitchen garden in the bright morning sun. (I think something happened to Barney’s mom.) I had strict instructions to fill his basement exit with rocks if I saw him and then shoot at him with the AirSoft gun (which does nothing but sting) so he’d go live somewhere else. Well, I’m not shooting a baby anything with an AirSoft gun. Besides, the poor lil guy couldn’t scale the ties. He was trapped. *sigh* So I did what I had to do…I gave him bits of hot dog and cat food. And I sat on the step and let him scratch behind his ears on the edge of my shoe. And if I wiggled my toes he’d scrunch himself up and let out these tiny little whiffs of stink. So here’s the conversation we had in the afternoon:
Shan: See, my husband doesn’t like skunks, so if he sees you out here, he might throw rocks at you and hurt you.
Shan: But if I put you in this little box with some grass and some food, he’ll go all softy and take you to live at the old dump.
Barney: *blink* *stomps front feet* (Skunks do that. It’s so cute, like little stinky divas.)
So I picked him up, and we played a while, and then I put him in the box. (Caveat: wearing leather gloves and padded sweatshirt—he may be cute and tiny like a hamster, but I’m not stupid.)
Shan: So you nap for a while, because you’re supposed to be nocturnal, and then my husband will take you to your new home.
A little while later…
Husband: Did you happen to see Pepe today?
Shan: Yes. I named him Barney and we had a picnic of hot dogs and cat food.
Husband: You did WHAT?
Shan: *shows him box with cute lil face*
Husband: Hey, Barn. Wanna go live at the dump?
Big :love: for hubby being such a softy.
And :clap: to Barney for getting a new home!
You are so cool. I hope you don’t miss Barney too much.
And yes, Twice Upon a Roadtrip was fantastic. I just finished Don’t Look Down by Crusie & Mayer so 72 Hours is up next for me.
Skunks do love cat food! Hope Barney has a nice life there by the dump. :thumb:
Awwww. . .that is so cute! (And so is Barney. I love the bit about tiny little whiffs of stink. :rofl:)
I needed that today. Thanks. :thumb:
Before we moved here, we lived in an apartment complex that sat on the edge of woods. At night, I would take left overs and put them in a tin pie plate and wait for the mama skunks and their babies to come feast. Each night I would move the plate closer to me and each night the little bandits would come closer. My guy thought I was absolutely, positively bonkers, but he’d sit with me as still as he could and watch them. I miss those days.
I think skunks are cool. Of course, their smell isn’t.
I so think you need to put this in another story. I had a friend who had one as a pet right after highschool, she got it descented. Love the picture of Barney, love the story and I hope he gets to stomp all over the dump.
He _is_ a cutie, and thank you for relocating him. Most people wouldn’t have bothered with a skunk.
Our latest close encounter with nature happened when I found a six-foot-long molted snake skin hooked on the bottom of the backyard fence. The kids thought it was cool. I thought “I never want to meet the owner.”
(And *shudder* for PBW)