The presence of Swiffers, ass tulips and illiterate seekers of self-luv has become damn near overwhelming, but I managed to find a few others:
johnny damon s soul ebay — While Johnny Damon did sell his soul to those infamous boys of
satan summer, the New York Yankees < *rinse & spit*>, I donâ€™t believe itâ€™s available on eBay. Yet. Wait a week or two, cause a scumbag can always be bought.
johnny damon voodoo doll — Out of stock due to a massive effigy ceremony involving matches, kerosene, and Idiot merchandise.
leigh ann is a dumbass — Really? What did she do?
books about gratitude — I didn’t write that book. Sorry.
pulsating pecs — I’ve got a taser. Wanna see if we can make them pulse?
my husband wants long red nails — Do NOT let him do it. Then who’s going to pop the tabs on the soda cans?
top 100 movies you ve never heard of — If I’ve never heard of them, how can I tell you what they are?
illegal to sell ebooks — It is illegal to resell them, yes. So stop it.
sex with dead people — Dude, you do NOT wanna be in there when the rigor sets in.
shannon name means — “Wise one”, a fact of which I’m quite sure my mother was unaware.
jill monroe wrestling men — I think that whole wrestling rumor was started by Gena. Yup.
what is the name of the book review blog that helenkay dimon belongs to? Paperback Reader
demon smiley — They’re still looking for a small enough picture of Johnny Damon’s face.
itch-x penis — :eyebrow:
lesbian and christmas shopping — I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure they shop the same way.
stick the towel in your vagina and rock back — Excuse me? How ’bout you stick the towel in your—
is positivity a word — Say it like you mean it and people will buy anything
why does my husband wear tights — so his legs stay warm under his skirt
ghostwrite marriage vows — That’s so pathetic
i have glass stuck in my finger need to know how to get it out — Hey, you can still type, so don’t worry about it
these are among the greatest mysteries of life. . . how people find Shannon.
Listen because I require sympathy and a drink
. I’ve been trapped with boys for more than 10 days. Tomorrow school is to start. Tomorrow we’re supposed to get a lot of snow. I am now going to
I think you’re supposed to get more snow than us this time. But mine haven’t gone back yet, and might not tomorrow because of the evil germs from Hell.