:lmao: I just ran my blurbs through the Redneck dialect machine, and here are the results. It’s definitely incentive to get the blurb for 72 Hours done, because that one should be really good.
TWICE UPON A ROADTRIP
A Erotic Romannic Comedy
Available now fum Ello’aâ€™s Cave
When th’ gwine gits tough, Jill Delaney gits gwineâ€¦in t’other direckshun.
This hyar time t’other direckshun has Jill hitchin’ a ride wif th’ Senio’ Centerâ€™s Sprin’ Flin’ tour t’Orlan’o. Screwed outta promoshun, sheâ€™s ready fo’ some fun in th’ sun befo’e itâ€™s time t’balance her checkbook agin.
Ole Man Tate Cooper jest be hankerin’ t’git his Mammy settled into her noo job so kin pick up th’ pieces of his own life. But fust, Momâ€™s got a li’l vacashun planned, cuss it all t’ tarnation. Now he has t’survive a trip wif a busload of retirees an’ one sexy but infuriatin’ blonde, then heâ€™s home free.
But when they find themselves stran’ed an’ alone, Jill an’ Ole Man Tate is faced wif makin’ their own way south. Fightin’ desuhe an’ etch other along th’ way, they give in an’ indulge in a li’l vacashun sexâ€“which doesnâ€™t mean they hafta fall in love. Af’er all, Jillâ€™s not ready t’be domesticated, an’ Ole Man Tateâ€™s cornvinced sheâ€™s not his type.
They nevah sar th’ han’cuffs a-comin’.
And in Cockney:
A traditional romance
Available January 3, 2006 from Samhain Publishin’
Fifteen years ago, Gena Taylor and Travis Ryan were forced into a marriage neever wanted, the bleedin’ price they paid after one night of passion. But wot ‘e believed ter be a lie forced Travis ter walk out of ‘er life shortly thereafter, right, crushin’ Genaâ€™s dreams of an ‘appily ever after wiv the only man sheâ€™d ever luvd.
Fifteen years later, Travis and Gena meet again. Only now, right, she owns the inn ‘eâ€™s considerin’ for ‘is weddin’ – ter anuvver tart. And this time, sheâ€™s guardin’ ‘er ‘eart carefully, do wot guvnor! Sheâ€™s not gonna allow ‘im ter hurt ‘er – or their daughter.
Despite their resolve ter keep fings impersonal, the past comes rushin’ hammer and tack and feelings they boff fought long dead rise from the ashes. But there are uvver lives at stake now, includin’ that of the child Travis once fought were a lie.