I think Vikings are incredibly hot. And no, I don’t want to hear about how bad their teeth were and how badly they smelled because they wore dead animals. Blah blah blah. They are seriously hot. And since Scott does some seriously hot covers, I’m dying to see what he comes up with for Charli’s The Gripping Beast.
So I shall gather close the tall kid’s copy of Horrible Histories: The Vicious Vikings by Terry Deary and periodically impart some Viking lore in a sort of cover art semi-vigil. (I’m not sitting here with a candle or anything, but I’m definitely waiting…)
~An Arrow in the Gut~
1. Cover victim with a cloak to keep him warm and comfortable.
2. Give him this special meal: mix porridge oats with onions and herbs, then feed to the patient, forcibly if necessary.
3. Wait until the food is digested.
4. Smell the open wound. If it smells of onions and herbs, the intestines have been pierced and the victim will die. If not, patch him up.
5. Contact Odin, the father of all gods, and prepare the Viking for Valhalla