It’s not the first, but I felt like doing my search phrases today. I got slammed by people looking for the “I Like to Move It” video from Madagascar. Buy the DVD. It’s on there. And I really do get people looking for me and/or my book. But then there are the people looking for:
what is an ass tulip — All these months and I still don’t know.
kinky neighbor — I wanna live in that neighborhood.
masturbate this kind of bump to the other person — What kind of bump are we talking about here? The needs-medication kind?
husband gelded — They prefer the word neutered.
chicken feet voodoo — Great. Just great.
made me wear tights — It’s nearly impossible to put tights on a person who’s truly resisting
how to teach my 11 yr old to swallow a pill — *snort* Good luck. My cats take pills better than the tall kid.
impatiently — Oh, that’s not going to get you 2834 pages of results.
bestest porn ever — Whoa. Don’t ever use the words bestest and porn in the same sentence again. Ever.
what lambs eat — Ivy, dumbass
pumpkin masturbation — I’m thinking it’s not how big the stem is, but how smooth, cause they have those little burs…
shannon s butt — Stop googling my butt, thank you very much.
long red finger nail cigarette smoking sissies — This one is totally Karen T’s fault.
raf pilots laugh and penguins — Anna…new fetish? :lmao:
my gelded husband — Ran off with another woman is how I’m guessing that would end
jump off a cliff or repeatedly hit yourself on the head with a hammer — Umm…jump off a cliff. It would require less dedication on my part.
itchy shoulder blades — Explains why the corners of my door mouldings are worn at shoulder height.
sissy boy cigarette smokers with long red finger nails — Look what she started
sympathy gene — I suffer a deficit.
inspirational wods — I find that a good wod will get me through the day.
i want to talk to shan of the dead — Call me at 4am.
excel spreadsheet on the twelve days of christmas — Don’t you have spices to alphabetize?
what does masturebation do to you — Norman, is that you?
movie endings city of angels — How can I put this gently?…It sucked.
spooky vagina — I have a mental image of a fog machine and woo-woo music that’s going to cripple my muse for days.
cockless man sex — Batteries required.
phrases batman says — To the Batcave!
male gelded sex slave — I prefer my sex slaves to have all their 2000 body parts, thank you.
tights in public — Only if you’re a 5-year-old girl
selt belt ghosts — Kind of like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted, no?
woman burned by dunkin donuts coffee — What a waste of coffee.
necrozoophilia — Ummm…having sex with dead zoo animals?
And finally, my favorite for this month…*drum roll*…
clip on ties how do they work — :lmao: