Writing blurbs is excruciating for me. I labored extensively over one the other day only to be told (correctly, of course) that it was a synopsis, not a blurb. (I’m trying to work on my that addiction. It’s more difficult to battle than my comma addiction and less difficult than my struggle to only put one space after a period and not two.)
So anyway. I can hear everybody thinking “If you want to learn to write blurbs, study the back cover copies on your nearest pile of books.” I’ve tried that it. My brain isn’t wired that that way. (Can’t replace that one.)
So I’m going to write all my blurbs in rhyming form from now on. Yup. I’ll start with Twice Upon A Roadtrip:
Once a couple got stuck on a bus
And got left when she kicked up a fuss
While on that roadtrip
His wick he did dip
Is it love or is it just lust?
I’ll have to think of one for Forever Again. It’s not a comedy, so it may lend itself to some other poetic form. Which sucks, because I can only do limericks and haiku, and my haiku is really bad. Worse than the limericks, even.
So let’s see your blurb in limerick or haiku form! Come! Join me in my bizarre procrastination activities. You know you want to…
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Spy Alan was happy as larry
When he found a young tourist called Mari
She got lost in the sand
But the spy was at hand
And now his sweet Mari he’ll Marry
Can I tell you the story of Kier?
It’s not as it may first appear
He’s not the real bad guy
Though living a sad lie
Until he tried loving, not fear
:neener:
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So Jack wants to do it with Kira
but his promise to not he holds dearer.
Then one day on high seas
to hot sex he agrees
and his love for her gets mighty clearer.
:woot:
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Coop has a problem complex.
Lea just wants him for sex!
Her hand is his goal,
that, and sex with fruit rolls,
And in Coop Lea finds her Rx.
:lmao: I’m killin’ myself here.
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you guys are nuts. Hilariously good, but okay…. :rofl:
I tried, no way this tired brain will handle it, but I bet one brain cell hangs on to the idea (I will not BE defeated!!!!) and I’ll be back….
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:clap:
More more more!
{Note to editor(s): I’m working. Really.}
Mel, you can do it!
:cheer:
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Miss Behavior is all about work
’til a pilot her sex drive doth perk.
When they’re stranded in snow
and they’re parts they do blow
Miss Behavior for sex goes berserk.
:angel:
PS to editors: pwease wet us submit this way. Pwease!
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:thumb: Dude, I think you should. Would certainly shake things up at the old editorial cubicle.
Okay, here goes:
This chick at an Ivy League school
joins a secret society most cool,
All-boy rule she does flout
The alums want her out
Until she fights for a modern self-rule.
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A Christmas list no one should see
Is picked up by the man of her dreams
It’s kinky and perverted
And Santa’s alerted
A lot of whoa ho ho’ing there’ll be!
:lmao:
These are oh so much fun to read. Keep going!
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There once was a werewolf named Lou
Who though that revenge was her due
Then she met Dylan
and found herself willin’
To get revenge and her man, too.
Or
Veronica wanted a man
Her cat had an opposite plan
So she looked for a fling
But Scott wanted a ring
Instead of a one night stand.
Or
Lorelei let a strange piece of jewelery
Throw her into time-travel foolery
Now she’s dealing with Vikings
And rhinegoldian arm rings
And falling for Erik’s love slavery
Hey, ED, can I use THAT for my blurb? Can I, huh, can I? :rofl:
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:lmao::lmao::lmao: @ ho ho’ing
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A Nascar racer did hate
that the media dictated his fate
When in love he did fall
He lied about it all
And made the poor girl irate.
and for the Christmas story….
A dream brought led her to the lake
And to the cabin, the hero did take
She believed in the dream
But after, it seemed
That her imagination had created a fake.
not so very funny, but, *shrug*
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It amazes me how easy it is to use this method to boil our stories down to a couple of lines. Miss Shannon, I think you’ve struck gold here. From now on I’m going to Limerick all my stories before attempting a blurb. Just snowflake a little from there.
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My limericks weren’t that dirty! How come they have to be moderated?
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:lmao:
These are awesome! And why is it they come so much more easily in this format.
I’m going to write a “How to Write Romance Using the Limerick Method for Poetic Dummies” book. :nod:
Hmmm…the one I’m working on right now for EC…
There once was a chick from deep space
Her people a nonsexual race
She came down to Earth
Then hopped into his berth
And learned ’bout desires most base
:shrug:
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:clap:
Poor Emily was constantly scared
Tristan stole her, and saw how she fared
A threat from the past
Gave Tristan the chance
To convince her of how much he cared
*gag*
A castle, a pub and tequila
Tells the story of Hal and his ‘sheila’
Rachel’s bent on destruction
Hal’s pride causes ructions
Till he gives in to the craving to feel ‘er
That’s better….
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I definitely think you’re onto something here, Shan….:woot:
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Crap, Charli! I had no idea you got moderated. It’s up now. And damn brilliant, I must say.
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Like I don’t have anything else to do. Like, you know, :type:
Anyway, this is for MARRIAGE, INTERRUPTED.
There once was a widow named Cass
In debt way beyond her cute ass.
Now her ex doth pursue her —
And not just to screw her —
But to once again make her his lass.
:shrug:
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:clap::diva::clap: