Shannon Stacey

Coveting and tie-dyed shirts

Yesterday, through PBW’s contest, I won a signed copy of Holly’s Talyn!

(You can’t see me, but I’m still squealing!)

So we had to list three things other authors have that we covet, and I listed:

1) The incredible discipline that prolific writers have.

2) Jennifer Crusie’s seemingly effortless ability to be funny

3) JK’s car. I don’t even know what it is, but I covet it

Insert one “I’m sick of listening to your damn neurotic whining” husband:

“They weren’t born with some discipline gene you’re missing. They work their asses off. You procrastinate. And how do you know that chick being funny is effortless? She probably works her ass off. See a connection? The things you covet require working your ass off. As for the Harry Potter woman and her car, you drive a ’67 Mustang. If that’s not good enough for you, then go work your ass off.”

My response could have spontaneously combusted an entire roomful of blue-hairs, so I won’t repeat it. I hate when he does that to me. Women claim men don’t understand them. No. They do, they’re just smart enough not to go there. (Ask him next week what HE covets and his answer will be sex.)

In other news, the tall kid’s school does these nifty spirit days where they all wear some specified article of clothing. This, of course, turns into a debacle similar to “I signed you up to make 6 dozen cupcakes for tomorrow.”

The “Favorite Football Team” shirt was no problem. We look like a New England Patriots warehouse around here. Their school birthday t-shirts were provided by the school, so no problem there.

Tie-dye. Do I look like I have tie-dye stuff in my house? (Rhetorical question, of course.) And I’m told these things about 20 mins before we leave for school. So when my child has to go to school with no hippy shirt to show his school spirit, that is, of course, my fault.

Today? T-shirt from another country. :wtf: We leave for school at 8:30. The child mentions this urgent matter at 8:20.

Panic! Panic!

My kid went to school spiritless last week and, by God, he will have spirit this week if it kills me. I’ll go door to door begging from the neighbors if I have to. So…rummage, rummage, rummage…a t-shirt from the 1993 Canadian Grand Prix!

So, today—for now—I’m a good mom. Until the short kid finds out we’re out of Halloween Oreos. And that I might have eaten some of them at 2am when I was working my ass off. Then I’ll be The Worstest Mom EVAH again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

6 comments to “Coveting and tie-dyed shirts”

  1. Mel
      · October 14th, 2005 at 10:48 am · Link

    :thumb: You’re the bestest Mom Evah….

    at least your kid hasn’t gone to school trying to sell your book to their teachers…

    Tie dye, huh? Yeah, I think I’d be in deep doo doo over that one, too.

    Oh, the oreos? Fuel for working your ass off. Buy two packages next time! :)

  2. Alison Kent
      · October 14th, 2005 at 11:56 am · Link

    Honestly? I may tape your dh’s words on my monitor . . .

  3. Shannon
      · October 14th, 2005 at 12:10 pm · Link

    Yeah, me too. I just hate it when he does that. :eyebrow:

    Hey, Mel, my short kid’s preschool teacher has been hounding me about this book. :doh: Why, oh why, did I use my own name again?

  4. Charlene T
      · October 14th, 2005 at 12:11 pm · Link

    If my kids ever join Girl Scouts, I’ll be the BEST mom evah, because I could live on Samoas while working my ass off! :devil:

  5. Karen Templeton
      · October 14th, 2005 at 5:02 pm · Link

    My ass is fine. It’s this why-do-I-still-look-like-I-just-gave-birth? tummy I need to work off.

    Your husband rules, by the way. :thumb:

    As for the kids and the last-minuteitis. . .sigh. Ours was. . .morning OF the field trip:

    “I have to look nice.”

    I scan the snazzy pants, the brand new hoodie, the equally new long-sleeved T-shirt. All coordinating, BTW.

    “You do look nice.”

    “No. I need a tie. My teacher said.”

    What can I tell you, ties just aren’t a huge necessity for the younger set in this house. The kids don’t even dress up to go to church.

    “Well, I’m sorry, I don’t have a tie. And besides, you look nicer than most of the kids do normally anyway.” (Ratty jeans and rattier T-shirts being the uniform of choice.)

    “But my teacher said. . .”

    “It’s eight-thirty in the morning I cannot pull a tie out of the hat at this very instant she’ll just have to deal with it!

    First words out of his mouth when he walks in the door:

    “I told you I was supposed to have a tie! And I have to wear one when we go to the symphony next week!”

    Sheesh. He now has three clip-on ties, and real shirts with which to wear them. If he asks for a sportsjacket, though, he’s totally outta luck.

  6. Anna Lucia
      · October 16th, 2005 at 4:53 pm · Link

    Shan, tell your husband that should I ever have the pleasure of meeting him, I owe him a kiss. :kiss:

    Also tell him that this is in the nature of a compliment, not a threat.

    Thank you.

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