Shannon Stacey

Ode to Star Wars

A surprise visit from my mother and aunt, and a line of nasty thunderstorms have made me scarce today. But in my quest to have a few days of noncontroversial, asinine posts, I was aided by an emailed suggestion that I do the romance of Star Wars in limerick form. Gee thanks. :grin:

The Romances of Star Wars

There once was a boy from Tatooine
Who was good, bad and in between
He was meant to bring balance
‘Til his heart, it did dalliance
With Naboo’s too-old-for-him queen

Padme was the love of his life
He wanted to make her his wife
She was bold as can be
(Until episode three)
And the cause of at least half the strife

So they started with forbidden nookie
Guess she’d rather not kiss a Wookiee
They wed on the sly
What a naughty Jedi
Caught in a plotline that’s kooky

A virgin was good old Jar Jar
Not even phone sex sent from afar
Me-sah thinks he’ll pass on
Without getting it on
No matter how dark the bar

Jango Fett also couldn’t get laid
So a clone of himself he had made
Then he ended up dead
When he lost his head
To the swipe of a long Jedi blade

Then the unfortunate Anni Skywalker
Succumbed to an evil smoothtalker
Amid lava quite red
He made his wife near dead
In a touching and romantic shocker

Time shift to the fully-grown twins
Who came close to incestual sin
But Leia’s no dummy
She found Han rather yummy
And neither an android nor her own kin

But a big slug freeze-dried her man
So she had to come up with a plan
Lest she’s stuck with Chewbacca
And his furry maraca
Or one of the sidekick tin cans

She woke him from the carbonite nappy
In a scene deliciously sappy
She loves him so
Which he already knows
And for ever after they will live happy

Darth Vader’s breathing’s quite heavy
Makes a girl purr like a finely-tuned Chevy
But his suit has no flap
Where that lightsaber’s at
So beauties he’s lost by the bevy

Poor Luke’s destined to always be celibate
With the appeal of an undercooked halibut
His sex life is bland
But with that bionic hand
He’s able to take quite good care of it

15 comments to “Ode to Star Wars”

  1. Mel
      · June 10th, 2005 at 9:21 pm · Link

    Dh and the munchkin went to see Star Wars while I was working this afternoon, so all I’ve heard is Star Wars this and Star Wars that. Then I come to blogland… ROFL!

    I do however, think you’re missing Yoda from your limerick…

    c’mon…. you can dooo eeeett!

  2. Shannon
      · June 10th, 2005 at 11:57 pm · Link

    Think on this, I will. :nod:

  3. Charlene
      · June 11th, 2005 at 7:14 am · Link

    Wow, she’s right. Missing Yoda you are! Fix it you must!

    LOVE Luke and his bionic hand. :rofl:

    Awesome poetry here. :lmao:

  4. Cece
      · June 11th, 2005 at 9:08 am · Link


  5. Jaci
      · June 11th, 2005 at 9:17 am · Link

    Oh man I really miss limerick wars :rofl:

    Too damn funny, Shan!

  6. Shannon
      · June 11th, 2005 at 9:49 am · Link


    Work on Yoda while traveling to Borders, I will.

    Feel free to add to the Saga! You KNOW you all want to! :lmao:

  7. Candy
      · June 11th, 2005 at 4:02 pm · Link

    That was gorgeous. And, sad to say, miles better than episodes I and II combined.

  8. Charlene T
      · June 11th, 2005 at 8:55 pm · Link

    Still no Yoda verse?
    The Force is strong in this one.
    It soon will appear.

    Hmmm, is that technically hiaku or senryu?

  9. Shannon
      · June 11th, 2005 at 9:15 pm · Link


    I don’t know! :crazy:

    I’m still dodging lightning over here. Triple H for 3 days now. :rant:

  10. Charlene
      · June 11th, 2005 at 10:48 pm · Link

    I don’t miss those storms. Lost three chapters of a book once to lightning. NH, beautiful state, terrible weather. :nod:

  11. Charlene T
      · June 12th, 2005 at 12:04 pm · Link

    I need more asinine! I swear to God I’ve exceeded my Serious Quotient for like the next five years with this GS business.


    There once was a master of Jedi
    Who could fight with a saber and fly
    He was one with the Force
    But his grammar was coarse
    Got things backwards did Yoda the Jedi.

  12. Rae
      · June 12th, 2005 at 12:56 pm · Link


    Awesome, Shannon!

  13. Shannon
      · June 12th, 2005 at 1:46 pm · Link

    :cheer: :woot: :cheer:

    You go, Charli!!! Awesome!

    (I had nuthin)

    Hi Rae! :dance:

    And, yes, not a big NH weather fan right now.

  14. Sasha
      · June 12th, 2005 at 2:46 pm · Link


    Great stuff!:thumb:

  15. KarenS
      · June 12th, 2005 at 6:46 pm · Link

    Lol!!! Great Poem Shannon!

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