We regret to announce the unpleasant passing of Shannon Stacey, who on the 1st of February of this year was callously completely consumed by a homicidal maniac. This unfortunate incident occurred in a sewer pipe at Camp Fusketotulee. The deceased was reported to have shouted “Does anyone have a band-aid?” just before expiring. Shannon Stacey is survived by a bunch of cats, who could really care less. Funeral services will be held the 3rd of next month.