My obituary
From Paperback Writer, we follow the link to the The Random Obituary Generator of Doom. Here’s mine:
We regret to announce the unpleasant passing of Shannon Stacey, who on the 1st of February of this year was callously completely consumed by a homicidal maniac. This unfortunate incident occurred in a sewer pipe at Camp Fusketotulee. The deceased was reported to have shouted “Does anyone have a band-aid?” just before expiring. Shannon Stacey is survived by a bunch of cats, who could really care less. Funeral services will be held the 3rd of next month.
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We regret to announce the unfortunate expiration of Melani Blazer, who on the 1st of January of this year was viciously smothered in hot fat by a large rabid squirrel. This unfortunate incident occurred in a manure pile at Camp Fusketotulee. The deceased was reported to have shouted “Not my new shirt!” just before expiring. Melani Blazer is survived by Gladys Happyfoot, a trained chimpanzee. Funeral services will be held the 7th of next month.
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I’m laughing so hard it HURTS> Thanks… thanks alot Shannon…. needed that. Yeah, really I did.
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We regret to announce the unpleasant passing of Jaynie R, who on the 4th of April of this year was savagely shot by a deranged axe-murderer. This unfortunate incident occurred in a small, unmarked sedan at the foot of the Statue of Liberty. The deceased was reported to have shouted “Did you hear something?” just before expiring. Jaynie R is survived by four sisters and a mule. Funeral services will be held the 1st of next month.
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We regret to announce the untimely death of Kitty, who on the 4th of July of this year was randomly ground to powder by a large rabid squirrel. This unfortunate incident occurred in a slightly distressed Buick Skylark at the foot of the Statue of Liberty. The deceased was reported to have shouted “I should have listened to my horoscope!” just before expiring. Kitty is survived by fifty or so gerbils. Funeral services will be held the 1st of next month.
That’s siiiily, I like it :rofl:
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Ack, these are funny but I am too superstitious today to check mine!
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:rofl: Those are so good!
Not my new shirt? *ggg*
And Jaynie, you must be one kick-ass babe if a deranged axe-murderer had to shoot you. :thumb:
Slightly distressed Buick Skylark? :rofl:
I’m fairly superstitious, too, Suzanne (one tends to be when one is a Boston sports fan:nod:) but I couldn’t resist.
(I think I deleted my ‘wink’ smilie. That’s not good. *g*)
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Is it bad luck that I somehow ended up with two obituaries? I don’t know what I hit but one generated right after the other.
We regret to announce the disturbing expiration of Angie West, who on the 1st of July of this year was viciously cannibalized by some guy named Clyde. This unfortunate incident occurred in a small, unmarked sedan in Seattle, WA. The deceased was reported to have shouted “Not again!” just before expiring. Angie West is survived by fifty or so gerbils. Funeral services will be held the 3rd of next month.
We regret to announce the unfortunate demise of Angie West, who on the 3rd of February of this year was delicately buried alive by an angry old woman. This unfortunate incident occurred in a murky swamp behind an outhouse. The deceased was reported to have shouted “Did you hear something?” just before expiring. Angie West is survived by a goldfish. Funeral services will be held the 3rd of next month.
I’m freaking about the first one. I know a scary guy named Clyde. But I don’t have gerbils (whew!!).:neener:
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Not again? Cannibalized often, Angie? :rofl:
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HAAAAAA I gotta share this. Thanks shan!
We regret to announce the disturbing passing of Celia Stuart, who on the 4th of July of this year was savagely bored to death by the next-door neighbor. This unfortunate incident occurred in a murky swamp in Seattle, WA. The deceased was reported to have shouted “This SUCKS!” just before expiring. Celia Stuart is survived by several houseplants. Funeral services will be held the 1st of next month.
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Bored to death! :lmao: