Shannon Stacey

New England weather

60 F:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe.

50 F:
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens.

40 F:
Italian & English cars won’t start. People in New England drive with the windows down.

32 F:
Distilled water freezes. Maine’s Moose head Lake’s water gets thicker.

20 F:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 F:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0 F:
All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.

-10 F:
Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

-20 F:
Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats.

-50 F:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

-100 F:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get frustrated because they can’t start their “kahs.”

-460 F:
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in New England start saying, “cold ’nuff for ya?”

-500 F:
Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series. (But…but…but…HA! WE WON IT!)

5 comments to “New England weather”

  1. Alison
      · March 12th, 2005 at 2:54 pm · Link

    OMG, this is so funny! It’s like living on the Texas Gulf Coast. If we get icy drizzle, people can’t drive. We’re pathetic when it’s cold. Of course, I wear sandals year round and only own a sweater. I sit outside and write in June when it’s over 90 degrees! LOL! I guess we all get used to what we live with!!

  2. Shannon
      · March 12th, 2005 at 3:08 pm · Link

    Sandals year round?


    We’re having our second blizzard of the week today.

    And ten degrees is our cut-off. If it’s ten degrees or above, the school throws all the kids outside for recess. It’s considered “brisk”. ;)

  3. kate
      · March 12th, 2005 at 3:43 pm · Link

    enuff with the snow. ENOUGH . . NO MORE. (I’m talking mother nature, not you.)

  4. Charlene T
      · March 12th, 2005 at 9:26 pm · Link

    Too funny! I remember moving to New England and wearing 12 layers of everything because I was dying. And these insane people were wearing SHORTS!

  5. Shannon
      · March 12th, 2005 at 9:45 pm · Link

    We can always tell the newbies! *ggg*

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