Shannon Stacey


New England weather

60 F:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe.

50 F:
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens.

40 F:
Italian & English cars won’t start. People in New England drive with the windows down.

32 F:
Distilled water freezes. Maine’s Moose head Lake’s water gets thicker.

20 F:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 F:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0 F:
All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.

-10 F:
Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

-20 F:
Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats.

-50 F:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

-100 F:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get frustrated because they can’t start their “kahs.”

-460 F:
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in New England start saying, “cold ’nuff for ya?”

-500 F:
Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series. (But…but…but…HA! WE WON IT!)

5 comments to “New England weather”

  1. Alison
    Comment
    1
      · March 12th, 2005 at 2:54 pm · Link

    OMG, this is so funny! It’s like living on the Texas Gulf Coast. If we get icy drizzle, people can’t drive. We’re pathetic when it’s cold. Of course, I wear sandals year round and only own a sweater. I sit outside and write in June when it’s over 90 degrees! LOL! I guess we all get used to what we live with!!



  2. Shannon
    Comment
    2
      · March 12th, 2005 at 3:08 pm · Link

    Sandals year round?

    *sigh*

    We’re having our second blizzard of the week today.

    And ten degrees is our cut-off. If it’s ten degrees or above, the school throws all the kids outside for recess. It’s considered “brisk”. ;)



  3. kate
    Comment
    3
      · March 12th, 2005 at 3:43 pm · Link

    enuff with the snow. ENOUGH . . NO MORE. (I’m talking mother nature, not you.)



  4. Charlene T
    Comment
    4
      · March 12th, 2005 at 9:26 pm · Link

    Too funny! I remember moving to New England and wearing 12 layers of everything because I was dying. And these insane people were wearing SHORTS!



  5. Shannon
    Comment
    5
      · March 12th, 2005 at 9:45 pm · Link

    We can always tell the newbies! *ggg*







  • Get my latest news straight to your inbox!

    I'll only be sending newsletters when I have news to share, and I'll never share your information. You'll receive an email asking you confirm your subscription (so please check your spam box if you don't receive that). You can unsubscribe at anytime.

    Search

  • Affiliation

    Shannon Stacey is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com.

    If you purchase a book listed on the site from Amazon.com, she’ll earn a small commission. Thank you!