I was hugely surprised to find out my friend, Emma, has turned to the Dark Side. That’s right…she’s now an editor! She must have donned the Spanish Inquisition costume, because I didn’t see that one coming.

But seriously, I thought—in addition to my congratulations and best wishes —I’d offer Emma some advice as she goes into this new endeavor:

1. Commas are like coffees—no such thing as too many.

2. Overuse of the em dash is a sign of a brilliantly talented writer and should be encouraged.

3. Picking one word and using it nineteen times in three paragraphs—totally on purpose. Honest. It’s emphasis.

4. If you should discover the hero has three hands during a sex scene, just slap a paranormal label on it. It’ll sell better anyway.

5. All sentences should start with and or but.

6. All dialogue should start with so or well. Seriously.

7. Overuse of the words just and simply come under the heading of artistic voice and should be ignored. (Yeah, Angie doesn’t buy that, either.)

And because Emma and I have known each other a long time, this one might not make sense to y’all, but…

7. Don’t spit coffee on your keyboard when your editorial comment WHY? comes back with a response of WHY NOT?

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