Hers, hers and hers
I don’t know how the authors of gay and/or lesbian romances do it.
Sex scenes are tough no matter what with all those body parts to keep track of. Nobody likes to read about a hero making love to a woman after forgetting to take off his pants or a woman having sex with a guy with three arms. (Unless, of course, he’s an alien with three arms.)
But normally I’ve got a his and a hers. A he and a she. Well, I’m in the middle of editing a scene between two women, and I’ve got hers and hers and a she and a she and even I can’t figure who’s doing what to whom.
I’ve gotta fix that, right? So I substituted their names whereever the pronouns were a little unclear, and now it reads stilted and amateurish.
December 2nd, 2005 at 6:34 am
Would it work with a lot of ‘they’s instead?
December 2nd, 2005 at 12:47 pm
I did a lesbian scene in one of my books. Took me forever to figure out all those pronouns and repetitive body parts, dammit
December 2nd, 2005 at 12:52 pm
Never thought about it, but you’re right, that would make an already challenging task more challenging!
December 2nd, 2005 at 1:03 pm
I’m tempted to go back and make one of the hers a him, but then the queen would have a guy for a handmaiden.
I’ve actually been running sports commentary through my head, trying to get a feel for how they do all the “he this” and “he that” but I’m finding they tend to use the last names. A lot, no doubt for radio.
On the fourth day of editing, my story gave to me…4 breasts a’heaving, 3 something something, 2 ya-yas weeping, and a queen in a very good mood.
Have I mentioned how I hate the adjective “weeping” with regard to female parts in erotic romance? Weeping? BE HAPPY, dammit! You’re feeling some love! But I’ll no doubt use it anyway at some point because what the hell else are you gonna say?
December 3rd, 2005 at 10:41 am
seeping?
but that calls to mind plumbing problems ….
December 3rd, 2005 at 11:29 am
Well, it is a plumbing problem.
Dripping, gushing, uh…uh…running, snotting?
Condensation gathered on the walls of her p*ssy.
Leaking, dribbling, oozing, drooling, salivating…
Gah!
December 3rd, 2005 at 9:33 pm
December 4th, 2005 at 12:32 pm
EW@snotting
Shannon I can relate but it sounds like you’re getting it all sorted out ;)
December 4th, 2005 at 6:56 pm
Just now reading old posts (well, not toooo old) - and OMG - I did one foursome in my Kink Extreme (not the title) and swore NEVER EVER AGAIN. (Yes, I was a body ho’ in that one.) So I sympathize.
December 5th, 2005 at 6:58 am
Weeping sounds like an infected wound… slap some savlon on it. :shock:
If you use the names instead of pronouns, it may read stilted to you, but chances are readers will simply skim over the names, taking in who is doing what, but not being pulled up by it. Next time you read think about how many words you actually READ in your head, and how many you just recognised as a pattern and apply the meaning.