Anna and Breezy both tagged me, so I guess I’d better do this, huh? I have to pick five?

If I could be a scientist…If I could be a farmer…If I could be a musician…If I could be a doctor…If I could be a painter…If I could be a gardener…If I could be a missionary…If I could be a chef…If I could be an architect…If I could be a linguist…If I could be a psychologist…If I could be a librarian…If I could be an athlete…If I could be a lawyer…If I could be an innkeeper…If I could be a professor…If I could be a writer…If I could be a backup dancer…If I could be a llama-rider…If I could be a bonnie pirate…If I could be a midget stripper…If I could be a proctologist…If I could be a TV-Chat Show host…If I could be an actor…If I could be a judge…If I could be a Jedi…If I could be a mob boss…If I could be a backup singer…If I could be a CEO…If I could be a movie reviewer…

1—If I could be a mob boss…I’d probably do more drafts of my hit list than I did of Roadtrip. And I’d pick only the hottest lieutenants, and I’d have a hot pink HUMMER. I’d probably hear a lot more of “Right away, Mrs. Stacey,” and “Anything you want, Mrs. Stacey.”

2—If I could be a judge…any person over the age of 18 who perpetrated sexual intercourse on a child 12 or under would get one appeal, then be publicly executed.

3—If I could be a llama-rider…I’d have to commission a very special saddle from the delish Devilish Dot.

4—If I could be a linguist…I’d master many tongues.

In reality I’d probably just learn to say in every language.

5—If I could be a bonnie pirate…I’d travel the seven seas, relentless in my pursuit of the Black Pearl. Then, when I had Cap’n Jack Sparrow cornered, I’d shout, “Prepare to boarded!” and shiver his timbers, matey.

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